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Getting a girl isn’t supposed to be an earth-shattering event. Sit down, have a cold drink and allow me to show you how to get a girlfriend

I’m going to tell you from personal experience because I spent at least four years of my life asking myself this very question that also brought you here, I literally asked anybody I knew who was in a relationship and anybody who had a reputation for wooing girls (I’m talking about the playboys)

I was about seventeen years old when puberty completed its work on me, fully driven by desire, my lust for the girls simply grew, however, I just couldn’t express it, because of several reasons (which I would talk about) , and when I did, I didn’t get the response I was expecting (for reason which I would also talk about) .


Plunging into the internet in quest of the solution to my problem I came to see the internet for what it really was – a collection of people’s opinions: and I tell you the truth, most of those opinions were incomplete or misleading and sometimes would leave you in more confusion.

Yet it the solution is so simple

I want to steer you in the right direction, so forgive me if this article gets very long, I want you to get it once and for all. I don’t want you to suffer like me because I am an advocate for vicarious knowledge. That being said, these are some very bitter truths you’ll have to swallow first


why you dont have a grilfriend
  • there is nothing wrong with you, you have simply been approaching the matter wrongly
  • You lack the necessary knowledge and don’t really understand how this works (that’s a good thing because you can learn)
  • You have internal resistance to the topic

internal resistance spring from self-esteem and self-image. they are limiting beliefs not because they are bad, but because they are holding you back.

  1. Self-esteem (which can be improved with time)
  2. Self image (which can be changed with time)

Because these two things affect the way we act, it is crucial that we deal with them. there is no way you can get a girlfriend if you see yourself as a Monk.

You must be ready to let go of your ego, fear of rejection and pride. the truth is, you are going to get rejected and it’s going to suck, you would feel embarrassed, angry and sometimes depressed. but don’t let that stop you

Because, you see, you are that guy that would succeed at the end

if you are truly ready to get a girlfriend, and you are willing to go get one, these are the four things you need to know


  1. Love is an emotion
  2. Love can be triggered
  3. Love can overpowering
  4. Love can blind

I know the list seems small, but that would do, starting from the top


Have you ever seen a person who consistently pisses you off without even trying, if yes then I reveal to you the power of personality

I call it the Power of Personality because it’s very powerful and you don’t have to do anything to use this power, you just radiate with the power when people set eyes on you

I would drop it like its hot: if you want to be loved you must be lovable

No girl or boy would be drooling over a deadbeat, you’ve got to be loveable, not just a nice face or body (although they help), but something tangible (and I’m not talking about money, although it helps as well). its about who you are in general.

Annoying people piss people off simply because they are annoying, the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they act, the way they smell, everything about them is annoying …wait a second, that’s just how we feel about them, right?

However, some other people are quite the opposite, their  voice, steps, attitude, and scent all seems to appeal to us, again its our emotion

So basically the trick is to build a personality that would make people desire you.


Be a desireable man. that is how to get a girlfriend

Write out your dreams and pursue them…Its really that simple

find something like singing, dancing, drawing, running, painting, ANYTHING!!, just make sure its something you want to spend time doing or mastering. then get serious about it. Literally chase your dreams

I chose drawing and today I have girls literally begging me to draw them, plus I also make money from it and I’m happy for my new-found talent, and the girls love it too.

This is what happens when you chase your dreams, you literally place value on yourself. And that value you placed on yourself changes everything. the way you talk, walk, think and the way you appear in general

You should also read books. Books enable you to live multiple lives and thus gain multiple life experiences. Plus, it makes you knowledgeable in a wide variety of fields, thereby making you more exciting to be with, giving you that eccentric personality

And finally, you have to pay attention to your fashion. There are tons of articles and resources on this topic, jump onto google and find a style that best fits you.

Really, you got to work on your dressing, everyone does.

  • chase a dream or dreams
  • Read more books, get knowledgable
  • Upgrade your fashion


Love can be triggered, do you know how easy it is to piss off someone who stammers?

Answer; just mimic them

The point is love can be triggered because just like anger it is an emotional response

Before you trigger love, you must understand that love is simply a heightened feeling of concern for another person.

Your parents love you because they care about you, although they may yell at you or probably whack you in the head, yet they would move mountains and kill giants to keep you safe. This is what love is, caring deeply for another, not just what you stand to gain from them

So, back to the matter…How can you trigger love?

Okay, here’s the thing, you got to, you know, open up. I know that sounds scary but its the only way.

if you get sweaty and nervous when you are about to express yourself, I suggest you start dishing out random compliments to random girls. you’ll be amazed by the amount of positive response you’ll get,

Did you know? you might be the only guy that has complimented her the whole day,she might just fall in love with you, who knows? *coughs

Muscles are built gradually, you must train yourself to talk to girls, don’t rush, start with people who seem friendly and approachable at first and then work yourself up the ladder

Compliment her, ask her how she’s doing, introduce yourself, ask her of her name and collect her contact (don’t beg. Ask), if she turns you down it’s a good thing because then you know where you stand

If you’re having the confidence or self-esteem issues I suggest you read self-help books like you are a badass  by Jen Sincero, and also check out Rejection proof by  Jian Jiang for confidence, I did read those two books and found them extremely helpful

you may never cure your shyness, but you can develop the courage to act despite it

now your confident. now you can get a girlfriend

The aim of the just concluded section is not to make you pretend to be who you’re not. if you noticed I insisted that you take things gradually, it could take weeks or months to build that confidence to talk to girls, but once you get it it’s yours, you become a confident person.

You must understand that both male and female are still humans, we all breath air and all crave love, you shouldn’t let how the other person take you to determine your self-worth.

You are valuable, if they don’t see it then that’s their problem. Your only job is to work on improving yourself


This is probably a warning to you.

Have you seen somebody who is angry or excited and tried denying it (yeah, it’s just pathetic)

It’s the reason I encouraged you to make your move early

This is where most people get it wrong, I spent a whole year trapped in this stage, and spent ample time getting out of it

After showing your intent and you see her showing you positive responses, its time to make your move

It’s the time you press for what you want, else you get friend-zoned. Just express yourself, if you get rejected, good. if they would love to date you, better


Defining what you want is the most important thing. It doesn’t really matter if it is just sex you want, if you are honest about your feelings and communicate them effectively and efficiently without resulting to manipulations and lies then you are cool.

What you consider success might be having to have a lot of cool girls to chat with, or sex or even marriage. it all boils down to what you really want.

It is always wise to find out the “why” before any course of action and then questioning it. But that’s a topic for another day

if you want Sex you should press for it at the early stage, let her know you’re sexually  attracted to her, get her alone, don’t be her clown

If you wish to marry her, then you can take it as slow as possible, if she likes you enough she would go with the flow

Love her, love her, love her


One more thing I discovered in my quest of getting girls is that emotions can blind

You should be careful about the people you choose to approach because it is very hard to see how nasty the attitude of the person you’ve been worshiping truly is when you are already in love

This works both ways, she could be the one blinded to your flaws, or you both and that can end up creating a toxic relationship, where you both feed your insecurities and flaws, fanning them till they eat you both alive

You must realize that it is wise to go in search of a person with desirable attributes (like intelligence, great social skills, and financial acumen to mention a few) if you are smart enough you would learn a thing or two and would end up being a better person because of them

You should also be aware that love makes you prone to manipulations, and you can also manipulate, or both of you can be manipulating each other (don’t ask me how love is crazy)

I don’t know much about toxic relationships, but I know it has something to do with not improving – not improving on yourself or the other person, but rather slowly and steadily poisoning each other


There you have it, My entire four years of experience in love and relationships in less than two thousand words

If you still find this difficult to grasp, I suggest you read the book, Models, by Mark Manson

I’m David, an artist, writer, blogger, thinker, entrepreneur. I am still learning and I’m getting better. I’m the PAWN

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