SEX – what to know before your first time having sex7 min read

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Growing up, we come to know about sex, whether from our parents, friends, neighbors, teachers, or the darn internet. The truth is that we all end up knowing about it long before we get to the age of practicing it. The question that bothers us, however, is “am I ready?”

Its no use denying it. The best we can do is educate ourselves better about it.

The world is full of ladies and guys

You can always find someone to have a good time with, the world is an ocean of hot ladies and guys who want you as badly as you want them. The only barrier is your willingness and boldness.

But maybe we shouldn’t dive headfirst into people’s orifices

Photo by Walid Riachy on

You see, unlike food and water, we don’t need sex to survive. This is the reason we have Monks and Popes who don’t collapse and die of sex-starvation.

It is the habit of those who vandalize people’s genitals to always make it seem that whoever is not participating in the vandalization has a terrible life. But sex won’t necessarily make you happier than you already are. Lack of sex won’t make you happier either; take note

Maybe you don’t know what sex is. Allow me to explain

Sex is a psychological need, it has to do with feelings; I know, I know, they always claim that they don’t get emotional about it, but that’s a lie, I’ve been in and out of the university, I’ve come in contact with countless boys and girls to know that they have a truckload of emotional baggage that they carry about.

Don’t be deceived, there are no superhumans without feelings, who goes about doing things without ever feeling any emotional impact. Even “Thanos” cried in the movie “Avengers”.

It always tells, sooner or later


Photo by Ana Maria Moroz on

Since there are billions of people who are raised in countless different ways and conditions, it is near impossible to state and declare a single standard for sex. 

Sex is no doubt pleasurable, Hell! mere looking at people having sex is pleasurable; however, these actions are not as important as the emotions behind them. 

When it comes to finding the person to have sex with, so many factors motivate us, sometimes it could be a desire to feel wanted, cherished and understood, other times it could be a desire to be respected and seen as high-class, and at another moment it may be a desire to be protected …

  • Desire to be cherished and understood
  • Desire to be seen as high-class
  • A desire for protection (relaxation and trust)

When these emotional needs are not properly understood, they can lead to very dark places. We all have a mixture of these desires, some higher than others in varying proportions

For example:

Imagine a girl who is a recluse but craves love and attention. If this lady gets persuaded by her friends to go to the club, where she bumps into a guy who seems to be all over her – treating her like the center of the universe – she might think that he’s the man of her dreams. And they would have sex, only for her to be ditched the next day with no name or phone number exchange. 
As you can imagine, she would go back to her place feeling used and discarded; she would feel like a piece of rotting “garbage”, then she would call all men “dogs” and blame her friends for setting her up. She would be scarred by this singular event for pretty much her entire life…

Uhm…Men are not dogs

Most times, with the anger and spite, such girls get their values flipped on its head and begin to feel entitled, enraged, and at worst start granting sex in exchange for something superficial.

I’m not discouraging sex, I just wanted to let you understand that it is not always what it seems. Don’t envy people who taste all the girls or boys. 

it’s a psychological need. They might have serious issues and are just venting, but they would never admit. But that’s not to say that people don’t have sex for the right reasons.

Sex is a wonderful thing, but you should know what it is you want before diving in headfirst, remember you don’t need it to survive, it’s for pleasure and that pleasure can easily turn to pain if you make wrong choices.

Enough of scaring you. Let me show you how to find the right person you can fondle their sex organs and rub your gentiles all over.


First, if someone isn’t totally crazy about you just forget about them, you would only bring yourself much pain at the end. That is not to say you shouldn’t put any effort, far from that, you should, but it should be within reasonable limits and you should always lookout for the feed-back.

If she/he seems ambivalent about you, maybe it’s because they are looking for something deeper about you, this is the time, to be honest about who you are; if you smoke or pray a lot, you should prolly let them know about that, you should let them know your strengths and weaknesses as well, this would obviously make you feel vulnerable, but that’s the magic

Suggested article: How to get a girlfriend [a full guide]

Honesty is essential because you are being who you are, and this is the person they would end up having sex with or having a relationship with, and you don’t want to pretend at the beginning because that would mean you would have to pretend throughout the relationship or sex, which obviously isn’t so gravy, and would only lead to breakups or unmet expectations

On the other hand, you should closely watch the person’s behavior, try not to be caught in the heat of the moment, it is always wise to get to know them better. This doesn’t mean you should keep them waiting for years, I can’t give the time span either, so it’s all up to you.

Whatever your decision is, always remember, have sex, and date only people you really like.

Suggested article: Why she/he asks “do you love me?”

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  1. You’re not the only one that wants to have sex. And yes, someone wants to have sex with you
  2. Don’t focus on the action, there is always a piece of emotional baggage (which can be good sometimes or nasty at other times)
  3. You won’t die of lack of sex, obviously. right? …
  4. Be confident and take your time (someone likes you, and I mean a lot)
  5. Discover the thing you want most (you don’t have to date the finest person, beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder)
  6. Only date and have sex with people you really like
  7. Avoid dishonest people and those who try to play with your feelings (your feeling is the reason you got into the whole sex thing in the first place. Always remember that)
  8. Remember you can always stay celibate, you won’t die or be missing much, as long as you are happy. That’s really all that counts in the long run
  9. Don’t forget the latex

You can also check out my Book (5 Years In School) to know more

I enjoy writing long-form SEO content for self-help and personal development blogs. I can also do simple graphics design and copywriting. I’m an author, coach, logician, introvert, and storyteller. I love simplicity.

Get our free eBook on how to live a happy and meaningful life when you input your email now.

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