“Like anything worth doing in life, happiness takes time and patience and consistency.” – Mark Manson
Once upon a time, a friend had a crush on a lady I was having a secret affair with. I didn’t tell him because she didn’t want anyone to know, and I didn’t trust him to understand. He was head over heels in love, and I was trapped between betraying her and being honest. I … Read more
Look around and you will find reasons to throw in the towel. From your neighbourhood to your schoolyard, to your social media feed, there is a constant source of self-loathing and self-doubt. Friends’ galleries of accomplishments may remind you of how far you are from the finish line. Celebrities’ songs may make you feel socially … Read more
The desire to be liked is instinctive. We, as a species, evolved to pay attention to what other people think about us because in the wild we needed them – to like us – to survive. Even today, you still need people to like you to survive. So, worrying if you are liked or not … Read more
I grew up in a poor family in a bustling but economically impoverished neighbourhood of Lagos, Nigeria. With six of us living in one room (so you can imagine how cramped and exhausting it was). Sometimes, I would wake up to find myself under the bed, my face stained with charcoal from the blackened pots … Read more
Earlier this year, at the beginning of the academic session at the university, I applied for a space in the hostel and was allocated a room. I was quite hopeful for the new session and looked forward to meeting my new roommates. As anticipated, I had very nice roommates. Except, unfortunately, for my bunkmate, Annie, … Read more
I saw a meme a few days ago where a porcupine was admiring the smoothness of a snake. The porcupine said, “I hate these spikes. I wish I had her body”. Then, in the next frame, the smooth-skinned snake was picked up and carried away by an eagle. Seeing this, the porcupine said, “Thank you … Read more
As a new chess player, I made many mistakes. This was frustrating, and I would get discouraged whenever I lost to a more experienced player. However, looking back, I realize that my mistakes helped me improve my game. I learned to think more carefully about my moves and to consider more possibilities. Much like my … Read more
It is normal to think that you were ghosted because of your fault – maybe something you said (or didn’t say), did (or didn’t do), or lacked (or owned). But, just like rejection, ghosting actually has more to do with the other person than it does with you. Yes, you might have actually said, done, or lacked something, but it was still the person’s decision to cut you off without even giving any reason.
Do you know that over 100 million kids in elementary and high school all over the world, experience bullying? Do you also know that 80% of bullied kids grow up with PTSD from childhood?
The crucial wisdom is learning to accept things as they are, even if we don’t understand them, and to forge ahead. That is the power of acceptance. And, it includes not denying the issues we have or the uncertainties, but rather acknowledging them and working through them as best we can.
