“Like anything worth doing in life, happiness takes time and patience and consistency.” – Mark Manson
Can a person truly change who they are — not just their looks, location, or outlook but their identity? The answer is yes. But the process is not always dramatic, smooth, or instant. It doesn’t happen because of some mind-shifting conversation, religious conversion, or profound encounter. Rather, it starts with confronting yourself. Below is the … Read more
There is a mathematical reason most people never marry their crush or soulmate. And that reason is called the Stable Marriage Problem. Way back in 1962, two mathematicians named David Gale and Lloyd Shapley proved that in any matchmaking scenario, for there to be stability—where participants are not “cheating” or “breaking up”—the participants must compromise. … Read more
WhatsApp Status has an option called Hide. It makes sure new status updates from specific people on your contact list stop showing up on your status feed. I use it often, as I don’t necessarily want to block or cut contact with these people. It is just that a lot of what I see on … Read more
Have you ever been in a room where people sort of just romanticise their local culture, affirming things like masquerades and bride prices during marriages? How about where people attack what they perceive as Westernisation, frowning at things like LGBTQ+ rights, as well as birth through Caesarean section?
If you met me a few years ago, I would think for a moment and say, I am not one of those people, I prefer the Western culture over our local African culture.
But that would be inaccurate.
If you had asked me a few years ago what makes life meaningful, I would have told you: To marry the love of your life, nurture your kids together, and do the work that fulfils you.
None of those values has changed. Though for a long time I always saw death as an enemy of those things. However, I have started to see that death doesn’t necessarily threaten a meaningful life. It makes it.
Cultural provocateurs are the whetstone. And like the whetstone, they challenge not to destroy but to sharpen. Scraping away rust. Exposing dull edges. Asking the uncomfortable questions that the majority would rather avoid. Every society that has moved forward has needed people willing to do this.
Most people look at “successful people” and assume they would be happier and satisfied if they too were “successful” at whatever the “successful people” were “successful” at. But for many people, the more successful they get, the more angst they feel. Why? Because one thing success does is reveal the possibility of more success. So, … Read more
Our thoughts don’t originate from us. Like water in the water cycle, thoughts flow into us, marinate, and flow back out in a circle of ideas. And like water, thoughts give life to our being. Our thoughts make us who we are — successful or unsuccessful, happy or unhappy, good or bad. So it matters … Read more
You want to glow up—to become 10X more attractive, sexier, and more admirable. You want to be “hot.” But what does it even mean to be hot?
Think about it, who is the hottest person you know, and why do you think they are hot?
The counter-argument that “everyone has flaws, and so we must not judge” is an idea I intend to break through the rest of this piece, not just because it justifies the corruption eating up Africa, but because it’s a psychological trick called “moral disengagement”—where people use nice-sounding phrases to avoid acknowledging evil. It’s how someone says, “like him or hate him, you have to respect his hustle or doings” while ignoring that the “hustle” or “Doings” is theft and the “hate” exists because he’s destroying lives.
