Again, It’s like, everywhere you look, people are talking about February 14th, Valentine’s Day. You’ve got vendors going all out, pushing their offers, and ladies dropping hints left and right on their social media. But where are all the guys in this Valentine’s frenzy?
It’s like they’re missing in action, some might even give out a nonchalant attitude, making you wonder, do men even care about Valentine’s Day?
And if they do, how can you make that day special for them (for him)?
Before we answer the question, let’s zoom out to find out what exactly Valentine’s Day is.
What’s Valentine’s Day?
The origin of Valentine’s Day is far less romantic. It has been suggested it originated from the Roman festival of Lupercalia, held in mid-February. A festival, which celebrated the coming of spring, and included fertility rites and the pairing off of women with men by lottery.
At the end of the 5th century, Pope Gelasius I forbade the celebration of Lupercalia which is sometimes believed was replaced with St. Valentine’s Day, but the true origin of the holiday is vague at best.
However, throughout history, this holiday has been celebrated by lovers or couples but, more so, the women in relationships.
Whether you love Valentine’s Day or hate it, one thing’s clear: Valentine’s Day today is now synonymous with kissing, gifts, and dinner reservations.
What Do Men Want For Valentine’s Day?
Almost every human desires intimacy, kind gestures, and good times, so invariably, almost all men would want something similar to that on Valentine’s Day. Though they might not show it, men can be very sentimental and sensitive. They often desire emotional connection, validation, and appreciation, especially on occasions like Valentine’s Day.
I asked some men from my contact if they care about Valentine’s Day, and what’s their idea of the perfect treat on that special day. And their honest answers might be the key to a truly special celebration.
Here are their response;
- Azogu Tobechukwu Said; “An activity-based date(s), with a PDA, a gift, food and sex”
- Chris; “I would love to chill with her. Nothing extravagant. Just Some decent time to do simple things like seeing a movie.”
- Chuks Dave; “I would love some good food and gifts.”
- Ibanibo David; “Affection, simple and plain.”
- Kingson; “Nothing too extravagant. Maybe chill with a movie and mellowed-out drink.”
- Wisdom; “a vacation would be nice and a good quality time with my val.”
- Ngwoke Divine; “I’ve not thought about it ever. But I think exchanging gifts, eating out and watching movies together would do.”
- Elo Philip; a movie date (could be indoors). A serene experience, and gifts (cards, and other little stuff that speaks a thousand words)
- Osass Daniel; A thoughtful treatment – might be a road trip. Although I would prefer being indoors, food, movies and maybe a gift of a Chelsea boot or any of the shoes I love.
- Anonymous; “sex, validation, and reassurance”
Of course, out of more than 4 billion guys out there, getting just 10 responses might not seem crucial, but it helps give an idea of what some guys might want for Valentine’s Day.
Based on those responses, I attempted to come up with 3 major categories of things you could do to make Valentine’s Day special for him.
Let’s zoom in…
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How To Make Valentine’s Special For Him
Valentine’s Day, often painted with shades of red and roses, can seem like a one-size-fits-all affair. But, a truly special day goes beyond heart-shaped chocolates, drinks and pairs of underwear. Making Valentine’s special for him is about understanding him deeply and crafting an experience that resonates with his unique personality, interests, and desires.
Plan personalized activities for him.
Decode his desires. Does your man light up at the prospect of an adrenaline-pumping escapade, or is a cosy night more his style?
- If he’s the Thrill-Seeker: he might love an impromptu road trip to neighbouring towns. You could end the day with a romantic dinner at a local restaurant, savouring traditional dishes and sharing meaningful conversations with him.
- If he’s the Homebody: You can create a haven of comfort and connection. Light some candles, cook his favourite meal, and cuddle through a movie marathon or buckle up for a game night.
Shower Him with Affection:
No matter his personality, affection is always a winning ingredient. Here are some ways to express your affection towards him:
- Physical Intimacy: treat with him to a relaxing massage, Offer a foot rub or simply enjoy some hot, good sex.
- Words of Affirmation: Write him a heartfelt letter expressing your love and appreciation. Shower him with genuine compliments throughout the day.
- Words of Reassurance: Speak to him with unwavering sincerity, reaffirming your unwavering support and belief in him. Offer words of comfort and encouragement, reminding him of your steadfast presence through life’s uncertainties.
- Quality Time: Put away your phone, give him your undivided attention, and truly listen to him. Engage in activities you both enjoy or simply enjoy each other’s company in comfortable silence (or under heavy metal!).
Give Him A Thoughtful Gift:
Gift-giving is a universal expression of love and appreciation, and men are no exception to its influence. However, ditch the generic stuff and choose something that speaks to his interests. Here is what I mean:
- If he’s the Foodie: Surprise him with a gourmet food basket or cook his favourite meal.
- If he’s the Techie: Get him a gadget he’s been eyeing or a subscription to his favourite streaming service.
- If he’s the Sports Fan: Tickets to a game or a personalized jersey of his favourite team will make his day.
- If he’s the Bookworm: Gift him a set of books from his favorite genre or a subscription to a book club.
- If he’s a Fitness Enthusiast: Consider gifting him high-quality workout gear, like a pair of gloves or sneakers, or a membership to a fitness studio or app.
When men receive gifts, they often perceive them as a demonstration of their partner’s attentiveness, thoughtfulness and intimacy in the relationship. The effort you put into selecting a meaningful gift reflects how much you’ve been paying attention, and understand their interests, desires, and dreams.
Conclusion: The Little Things Matter To Him on Valentine’s Day
Big gestures might grab outside attention, but it’s the small, heartfelt acts that hit home.
Don’t try to steal the moon or make it snow, what truly melts your partner’s heart are the tiny yet thoughtful moments woven into daily life.
Imagine their surprise finding a love note tucked in their breakfast, hidden like a treasure.
Or picture their smile widening as their favourite song (the one from your first date!) unexpectedly plays from the room sound system.
Or the joy in their heart when taking a stroll down memory lane with old photos or mementoes.
He entrusts you with his inner world, his desires and fears, strengths and vulnerabilities, as well as dreams and failures. Use them this Valentine’s Day. Show him you truly. Craft an experience that speaks his language, not just words.
By understanding your man’s unique desires and adding a personal touch, you can transform Valentine’s Day from just another money-eating occasion into a truly unforgettable experience that strengthens your bond and makes him feel loved and appreciated.
Happy Valentines!
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A mindful self-help writer and photographer