HOW TO FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE [without chasing, using pickup lines, or implementing any complicated tactics or gimmicks]10 min read

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A lot has already been said about getting a girlfriend, or date, or sex, yet very little has been said about how to find the love of your life. I mean the one and only – the special, unique, and perfect one for you. 

Today, I want to expose to you how to find this dream-like person – this person that is best described as coming from another dimension.

And the good news is, it is very easy to find this one true love. In fact, it is so easy that it baffles me how people miss this …

All you have to do is …

[listen to the audio version of this article below]

WHAT TRUE LOVE LOOKS LIKE [qualities of someone to love]

Before I proceed, I would like to inform you that love…

  • Like a clean cloth, would get soiled if you don’t clean yourself first.
  • Like a flower, would wither and die if you pluck it and try to keep it where you want.
  • Like a diamond, it is rare and desired by many.
  • Like the ocean, its beauty doesn’t lie on the surface, but under its blue blanketing.
  • Like a butterfly, it can only rest on a calm person.
  • Like snowflakes, it is unique in every way – yet pure and beautiful in its way.

And all these are the reason you shouldn’t try to chase this love, but rather attract it. Let it grow, mature, and blossom next to you.

True love is not found when we go searching, it comes on its own when we least expect it. And we lose it when we try to keep it to ourselves.

True love is not selfish. It is free and doesn’t feel like a cage. It is more about an atmosphere that makes you feel safe rather than a place of gratification.

When you find that true love, you would discover that they complete you in a way that you never thought of – they would be the missing piece you didn’t know you were missing. 

It would be like fresh air to you. It would be the crack of daylight in your murkiness.

And to attract this love you simply have to…


When was the last time you felt genuinely attracted to someone?

I’m not just talking about the desire to have sex with them. I mean, the feeling of wanting to have them in your life – to aid you in decision making, and to be the one you would find solace in?

Was it when you stared at a picture of a gorgeous celebrity? Maybe not.

When it comes to picking true love, you would agree that it is more subtle and trickier than finding an attractive person. It is more nuanced. It is harder for you to place your hands on.

You don’t just want someone who is cute, you want some that makes you feel safe – relaxed and comfortable. Someone you can trust with your heart and life. Someone you can be weak in front of. A person you can cry on their shoulders.

You don’t want someone who shares the same temperament with you, rather you want someone whose personality complements and completes yours, but shares similar values.

But, how does one find this one true love if one can’t firmly describe it?

You already know it’s someone who would make your heart flutter, but who won’t make you worry (i.e. you won’t have concerns about their fidelity).

But somehow, you also know that this person has to be special and rare like a diamond, and it is the quality of precious things to be sought after by many – and even stolen.

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THE PERFECT PARTNER – or is it just me?

What if I could draw a clear image of my one true love? What if I can clearly state all the features I’ll love to find in this person?

What if my desired features were someone…?

  • With a physically fit and chiseled body
  • Clear skin
  • Knowledgeable, smart, and wise
  • Smells nice
  • Wears nice cloths
  • Eats healthy
  • Is respectful and gentle
  • Not easily provoked, and forgiving
  • Doesn’t hoard compliments
  • Is grateful
  • Is bold and confident
  • A leader. Outspoken
  • Welcoming and warm
  • Transparent
  • Loyal
  • Hardworking and passionate
  • Humble
  • Etcetera…

Do I really think this person would be attracted to someone who…?

  • Is overweight and sloppy
  • Has an unkept skin
  • Is ignorant and dull
  • Smelly
  • Wears tattered cloths
  • Eats unhealthily
  • Is rude and wild
  • Short-tempered, and unforgiving
  • Insensitive, and indifferent 
  • Ungrateful
  • Shy and lacks confidence
  • Sheepish
  • Repellant, repulsive, and mean
  • Secretive
  • Disloyal
  • Lazy and impassionate
  • Grandiose and arrogant
  • Etcetera.

Of course, it is obvious that your true love wouldn’t want to be with someone like that.

That is why it is no mystery, bitter people attract bitter people in their lives. And ungrateful people attract ungrateful people into their lives. Whilst, on the flip side, nice people tend to run into nice people and end up leading good lives.

Hence…to find your one true love, you need to first find yourself. 

You need to make yourself the kind of person your one true love would desire to be with. You need to make yourself exactly like your one true love. You need to be your one true love.

WHERE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE? [where will I find my true love]

So, the other day I was just scrolling through my WhatsApp list when I realize that my contact list was now flooded with copywriters. It was really unsettling at first. I had opted in to many free and even a few paid copywriting classes, but my main intention was to gain an upper hand by learning those persuasion techniques. Now, I’m stuck with a bunch of people trying to use those same “tricks” on me. 

But that’s not the point. The point was, I got to make some friends from this list…

The thing is, we don’t date or fall in love with people we can’t see. We can have a vague idea of what we wish for (like, wishing for a dark-skinned cutie, who has the smile of a thousand angels), but what we get to choose from is fundamentally limited to the people we meet.

This means, if you hang around meth-heads and gangsters, your options would be limited to exactly those (not that there is anything wrong with dating a gangster, right?)

Anyway, this means

  • – The one with the chiseled body is at the gym
  • – The smart one is at the library
  • – The loyal one isn’t the one cheating on their lover with you (sorry to break it to you. If they cheated with you, they would most likely cheat on you)
  • – The gentle one isn’t the one fighting at the bar (they are probably enjoying Mozart on some Opera)
  • – The humble one is not the one bragging about all their achievements (all the darn time)
  • – Etcetera.


So, let’s talk about how to strategically find true love, shall we?

(I’ll do this with some quick bullet points)

  • Be happy and comfortable with yourself: This means, having a life of your own that is rich with experiences, goals, projects, and dreams. A life where you’ve worked on yourself and simply need a partner (and not a solution to your problems)
  • Go where People like the same things you like: If you want to live with someone with whom you can enjoy the moments together, then you obviously need someone who cherishes the same things as you do. This could mean visiting the zoo, art gallery, a show, a movie, or anything really. You could even venture online (online dating) to find a person with a profile that matches your taste.
  • Don’t seek romance, seek partnership: Romance wanes. Besides, romance can be fun but it’s “partnership” that will get you through the long hurl (including the tough and good times.). You want someone you respect, and who respects you, and not just someone who sweeps you off your feet
  • Beware of the “Opposites attract” theory: As crazy as it sounds, it is the lazy ones that daydream of a hardworking person coming to take care of them. The ones that are out of shape that fantasize about a hot partner. You must be careful to avoid such people – at all costs. They are leeches in the literal sense.
  • Understand your needs: sure, you have a great life, but you need a partner. But why? This is the question you need to sit down and ask yourself. Do you desire a lot of affection? Do you want to build a family (have kids and all)? Etcetera. These are the things to understand about yourself, and these are the qualities to look for in the other person.
  • Understand what a relationship is: If your smooth with words and know “the game”, you could fool around with anyone and have sex (with no commitments). But before bringing someone into your life (to share your money and living space) you have to realize that they will be bringing their baggage along (i.e. their problems and imperfections). So, be ready.
  • – And finally, you have to give up already with that one: They aren’t interested. Stop chasing people that don’t care about you. Holding on to somebody who isn’t interested or isn’t there for you is harmful, and literally hinders you from finding the love of your life.

*Below is a quick summary of this entire article*


  1. Prepare to meet the one by reaching your highest potentials.
  2. Make yourself attractive.
  3. Find out what you really want in a partner.
  4. Enlarge your circle of friends and acquittances (go out more to your places of interest, or check out dating platforms).
  5. Stick with the right company.
  6. Stop basing your standards on fairytales.
  7. Do not focus on physical appearances (alone).
  8. Find a person whose personality complements yours (but whose values are the same).
  9. Look for a person whose values align with yours (i.e. whose priorities are the same as yours).
  10. Find someone who respects you.
  11. Consider the judgment of your family or friends (love – emotions – can literally blind you).
  12. Meet their family and friends (people are usually the product of their environment).
  13. Let time test the love.
  14. Allow yourself to be loved.

Remember, to get love you must first give love. So, do not hesitate to show love – there is no downside to this.

Thanks for reading…
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I enjoy writing long-form SEO content for self-help and personal development blogs. I can also do simple graphics design and copywriting. I’m an author, coach, logician, introvert, and storyteller. I love simplicity.

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