Why Long-distance Relationships Deserve Your 100%13 min read

Romantic relationships are one of the most profound experiences life offers. 

They add a layer of meaning and joy that simply wouldn’t exist without that other person by your side.

They often start in the most ordinary places like in the classroom, at a religious gathering, or within online communities. Maybe it’s a glance during a lecture, through a duet in a choir, or a random follow on social media that sparks late-night DMs. Before you know it, you’re sharing playlists, swapping jokes, and staying up late talking about everything and nothing at once. It all feels like fate gently nudging you toward something special.

However, relationships, especially long-distance relationships (LDR), are as terrifying as they are thrilling. You’re not just opening your heart to someone, you’re handing it over, hoping they’ll handle it with care. Trusting them not to falter, not to let their own doubts, fears, or circumstances shatter it. And yet, sometimes, the cracks form anyway, not because they didn’t care enough, but because life has a way of throwing curveballs neither of you saw coming.

Perhaps careers pull you in opposite directions, family expectations stretch you thin, or the economy builds walls that keep you two apart. While these aren’t choices, they’re the reality you might struggle to navigate.

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” – Albert Ellis

What Long-Distance Relationships Really Feel Like

In 2011, fresh out of secondary school, we fell in love. When she said, “Though far from sight, but near to heart,” I believed her. She wasn’t just my first girlfriend—she was the first person who truly understood me and accepted my weirdness without hesitation. Back then, her words felt like a promise, the kind you’d carve into stone and trust to stand the test of time.

Fast forward a year and a few months, and that same person calls to break up. The reason? Distance. The irony hit like a bad punchline. How does “near to heart” turn into, “I can’t do this anymore,” and “I don’t want to hold you back”? Wait, what? Who said you were holding me back? Who’s even complaining here? But, let’s blame it on the naivety of teenagehood.

The distance isn’t just about the miles, but the clashing of wants, needs, dreams, and schedules, and that creeping fear that someone else might take your place in their heart. It’s no hug when feeling tired, no late-night cuddles when the nights are cold, no early-morning sex when your hormones are kicking in—just a silence that says more than words ever could, a reminder of everything you’re longing for but can’t quite reach.

I also occasionally feel that distance in my current long-distance relationship.

Because we’re oceans apart, issues that wouldn’t even exist if we were close enough to share a look, a touch, or just sit face-to-face and talk suddenly feel like they could break everything.

The pain is real, especially in those moments when you need them the most. Birthdays feel quieter without them, celebrations feel incomplete, and on tough days, all you want is their touch. It’s like there’s a space in your life that nothing else can fill. 

It makes me wonder: is love really as strong as we think? Can it survive when you’re far apart? After all, we’re just lovers trying to make it work in the messy, unfair reality of life—a reality where distance tests everything and leaves you questioning if love alone is enough.

But here’s the question that keeps nagging me: if the pain of a long-distance relationship is so obvious, so heart-wrenching, why do people still choose to dive in? What makes them sign up despite the silent tears, the endless countdowns, and the hollow ache of missing someone who isn’t just a short drive away?

“Poets use countless words to describe their pain, but I only need three: I miss you.” — Caroline George

Why People Choose Long-Distance Relationships Despite the Pain?

Although my partner and I knew we wouldn’t be seeing each other, we both said those magic three words and made promises under the moonlight. It wasn’t just about love. It was about something deeper, something that had been building for years.

Since then, it’s been a ride. We’ve had conflicts about the distance, conversations about how to cope with our needs, and the constant question of “Can we really do this?”

Maybe it’s fate, faith, optimism, stubbornness, or sheer willful blindness.

But when you believe someone’s worth it, you can endure hell just to try. And honestly, that’s what makes us human—emotional, messy, hopeful humans.

Indeed, there are countless reasons why people might choose a long-distance relationship. Here are a few common ones: 

They Think They’ve Found The Person of Their Dreams

I believe she’s worth it. The woman of my dreams. Silly me, I know.

Love has a way of making you believe in the impossible, especially when they’ve shown you how much they want to be with you or speak your love language in a way no one else ever has.

When you think you’ve found the person of your dreams, logic doesn’t matter anymore. The distance, the waiting, the odds, it all feels worth it. You convince yourself that if you just keep holding on, somehow it’ll all come together in the end.

Silly? Maybe. But I believe, like Paulo Coelho once wrote, “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. 

They Have a Scarcity Mindset

For some people, choosing a LDR could stem from a scarcity mindset—like convincing themselves this is the best they can get, especially after being single for a while. Because no one seems to be looking their way, they fear age may catch up with them.

Maybe it’s not even about biological factors or the relationship itself being easy, but about avoiding the challenges that come with finding someone new. 

They Fear Of The Unknown 

Since finding someone new can be daunting, a challenge many would rather avoid, familiarity feels safe. Already knowing someone’s uniqueness, their flaws, their story, makes it feel like there’s no need to start over, no awkward introductions or learning curves. However, it’s not really about simplicity; it’s about fear, the fear of stepping into the unknown. That fear was part of the reason I found myself trying to get back with my ex.

They Find it More Convenient

Or maybe it’s just convenient. But why would a relationship that’s inherently difficult ever feel convenient?

Some people find long-distance relationships convenient because they don’t demand full commitment. Long-distance relationships become less about love and more about freedom, a way to say, I’m with someone, without fully being with them. It’s a balancing act between having connections and keeping options open, even if it’s not always intentional. Because there’s no constant presence to hold you accountable, no daily reminders of responsibility. You could ghost and return with an excuse or even blame them for pushing you away. It’s like having a relationship on your terms, where you can dip in and out without the full weight of commitment.

They Romanticise The Distance

For many, the distance itself adds an exciting element to the relationship. The anticipation of seeing each other, the deep communication, and the sense of adventure can make the relationship feel special. In today’s world, cross-cultural relationships are more common, with online dating and travel bringing people from different parts of the world together despite the miles between them.

They Navigate Life Circumstances

Other times, long distance relationships could happen for practical reasons like career opportunities, educational pursuits, or economic factors. One partner might get a great job or school offer in another city or country, and the other chooses to not follow. Sometimes, it’s the cost of living or job availability that makes living in separate locations the better choice.

While some of the reasons might seem plain dumb or unadvisable, in the end, everyone follows their own path, guided by whims, emotions, or sometimes deeper psychological factors, especially when those factors are pathological. And love has never been about logic, especially in a long-distance relationship. It’s messy, imperfect, but for many, it’s worth the journey.

“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.” — Kaui Hart Hemmings

Why Giving Your All In A Long-Distance Relationship Is Worth It

In long-distance relationships, the unpredictability of life hits differently. 

Distance has a way of testing you in ways that no amount of effort can fix. Miscommunication happens. Timing feels off. Sexual needs can strain the bond. Circumstances beyond your control create cracks where none existed before. It’s not because you didn’t try hard enough. It’s because love, as beautiful as it is, doesn’t exist outside reality. And sometimes, reality can be against you.

But that doesn’t make the love any less real. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth the effort. Life is a strange mix of risk and chance, and long-distance relationships teach you this better than most things. 

The effort you put into choosing to stay, to fight, to believe is’nt just about the outcome. It’s also about helping you mature as an individual – to love unconditionally, delay gratification, and even develop the courage to hope in the face of uncertainty.

As adults, we’re guided by our values and beliefs. When it comes to romantic love, it’s about clarity—knowing what you want—and courage—the willingness to put in the work, even when the odds seem stacked against you. And though the outcome is uncertain, you keep going. Because whether your partner is across the street or across the globe, love can still bridge the gap. 

Sometimes, proximity doesn’t always guarantee love will stay; A 50-year marriage can dissolve in a lawsuit. A youthful romance that felt invincible can end with a suicide note. A close union grounded in faith can unravel into unimaginable horror.

Nothing is promised.

What keeps us trying is hope, the belief that love, in its purest form, is worth enduring the pain the distance creates. The rare connection that feels irreplaceable, like losing it would be worse than living with the distance. The promise of a future where all the sacrifices and struggles finally make sense, a time when the miles are just a memory.

Because love, whether it’s nearby or far away, whether it’s the girl next door or the boy in New York—is never about the feelings or gains. It’s rather about whether the other person is worthwhile, what you’re willing to give, what you’re ready to sacrifice, and what you’ll fight for, even when the odds feel impossible.

“Distance is just a test of how far love can travel.” 

Conclusion: Be optimistic about your relationship

Love isn’t always diminished by distance or circumstance. If anything, these trials show you what love really is—how much you’re willing to sacrifice for the person you care about, how much you’re willing to adapt your dreams to fit theirs, and how to stay grounded in reality through it all.

Like a friend once told me: be optimistic about your relationship. There have been times throughout history when lovers were separated by oceans, by war, by life itself. All they had were letters, maybe never even sent, but their love endured. And that’s the kind of love I believe in. The kind that refuses to fade, no matter the distance. It is almost all about setting clear expectations. Are the both of you on the same page? Do you want the same thing? Are both willing to do what it takes to make your romance have a meaningful ending?

And even if it doesn’t work out the way you planned, it shouldn’t be because you took the easy way out. The real value comes from honestly trying to make it work—the willingness to push through the tough times, that you find what truly matters. And when it’s over, if you’ve both tried your best, that’s what preserves a good friendship after the breakup. It’s the respect for the journey you took together, and the understanding that love, no matter how it ends, leaves behind something real and meaningful.

“I wish you were here.”, “I just want to hold you right now.”, “I’m not sure when we’ll see each other again.”, “I’m feeling tired of waiting.”, isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. But if you’re in a long distance relationship, and you believe the other person is worth it, all in with you, then give it your all. Don’t hold back. Give it 100%. Because that’s the only way any relationship has a chance to thrive.

And when the pain of being apart feels overwhelming, and doubts about your partner’s faithfulness creep in, focus on the small wins. Celebrate every call, every message, and every day that brings you closer to your next visit. These moments remind you why the relationship truly matters.

“Distance means so little when someone means so much.” — Tom McNeal

***

Did you find this piece insightful or have questions? Please use the comments section. And, don’t forget to share with friends and family.

Below are some other content you might find useful:

1. Maybe You Don’t Know What Commitment Entails: The Sacrifices That Come With a Serious Relationship
2. Gamophobia: The Fear Of Commitment [And How To Overcome It]
3. Standards Vs. Expectations In Relationships: The Key To Avoiding Disappointments and Toxicity
4. How To Know If You Are Ready For A Relationship
5. 10 Things You Can Expect From A Relationship