Self-confidence is not hereditary, it has nothing to do with your social status, and age has no bearing on it. In fact, low or lack of self-confidence is an issue almost everyone struggles with at some point in their lives. That is why this piece would expose 8 simple ways to build, improve, and regain your self-confidence.
This is how it usually goes: Some days you wake up feeling superfly and indestructible, and other days you feel incapacitated or worthless. Sometimes your self-confidence is palpable, and other times it vanishes with no trace.
Is self-confidence And self-esteem The Same Thing?
Though there is a correlation between self-confidence and self–esteem, the two are not the same – It’s important to clarify. So, let’s do that
Self-confidence describes how you feel about your ability to execute a task (or handle a role). Whereas self–esteem deals with how we feel about ourselves – in terms of appearance, intelligence, or our general worth, or value.
If you’re struggling with self-confidence, know that you are not alone; there are millions of people just like you. For what’s worth, I’m also striving to build my self-confidence in diverse aspects of my life (which is one of the reasons I had researched and written about this topic).
Lucky for us, upon my research, I found solutions for self-confidence issues. These straightforward ideas have proven to be helpful to me, and I believe they can help build, spark up, and resuscitate every lost self-confidence in you as well.
That said, let’s dive in
8 Ways To Boost Self-Confidence.
1. Think and Speak Positive
Every aspect of our lives begins in our minds. Confidence is a state of our mentality at its core. It’s not a coincidence that the Latin word for it (“sui fiducia”) means “on trust”.
The baby step to developing your confidence is to trust in yourself or to believe in yourself. As conventional as it may sound, most times it could be a complicated duty to believe in ourselves.
Why is that?
Well, we are frequently inclined to magnify our weaknesses and undermine our strengths – we oftentimes look at our flaws through a magnifying lens and our success through a pinhole.
We carry so much mental junk, (“I can’t”, “I am not good enough”, et cetera) and for this, we disrupt the growth of self-confidence and chance of success; we become the prophet of our doom.
In contrast, when we “trust” ourselves we create a better chance of success. Just as Williams James put it, “believe what is in the line of your needs, for only by such belief is the need fulfilled… have faith that you can successfully make it, and your feet are nerved to its accomplishments.”
To have self-confidence, you must first Trust in yourself. This would greatly influence all aspects of your life – generally, people trust people who trust themselves, and they tend to enjoy a better relationship with others.
Think of that which is good and positive and speak of that which is heart-warming and encouraging. And Yes, you can do this. Start now!
2. Choose Your Company Wisely.
Is it not amazing, how the greater part of the things we say and do were not taught in school, but an outcome of the people around us?
Our lives – who we were, who we are, and who we would be – revolve around the company we keep. That is what it means to be a “social animal”.
Look into the group you hang out with and ask yourself, “do they undermine my intelligence and capabilities?”, “do they discourage every bold step I envisage to take?”, “Are they fearful and timid?”, “Are they arrogant, and unwilling to learn?”
It is important to answer these questions honestly because, if the people around you consistently drain every particle of courage, boldness, and passion you have, there is no way you would ever build, improve or regain self-confidence.
Find people who would fan your flame and force you to improve…
In cases where the challenge is rooted in cultural bias and stereotypes, the best way to emancipate yourself is to find a new settlement.
If this cannot be done – if you can’t leave the environment, then create a personal space to live your desirable life. This could be in your room, a park, a library, or any place where you are free from the world around you. The goal is to break free from the shackles of negative influence and create a new path for yourself.
3. Strive To Know More.
Knowledge is the key to many things in life, including self-confidence.
Do you remember those times when your teacher asked a question, and you quickly put up your hand, simply because you knew the answer to the question? That is an example of how knowledge breeds SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Learning may involve a bit of embarrassment, it can be difficult, and may even be boring. It entails diligence, submission, humility, and patience. But, you already know this, the reward exceeds the pain.
It’s only arrogant people who choose not to learn, and the fearful that avoid the pain necessary to succeed. They are out to be petty and misfits. Although they might not appear so on the surface – that’s who they are.
The attempt to learn on its own is a form of self-confidence – to have believed, and trust in your capability to learn. It shows strength and courage. You’re already building your confidence when you choose to learn.
Recommended Article: How To Cultivate The habit Of Reading
4. Take Care of Your Body
There is so much evidence that suggests that a healthy lifestyle boosts self-confidence and esteem. It is easier to stay confident when your body is healthy.
- · If we power our bodies with what makes us ill and lazy (like junk and drugs) while ignoring foods that our bodies require for optimum performance (like vegetables, and supplements) we would feel terrible in our bodies, and that would have adverse effects on our self-confidence. Healthy diet habit reduces stress, anxiety boosts your mood, and a lot more. In other words, Healthy food is equal to Healthy self-confidence.
- · Relaxation: It is great for the mind and body as it fills us with vitality.
- · Exercise: With great physical appearance comes increased confidence to walk down the streets and communicate with people (since you are not worried about what they might think).
- · Hygiene: washing, brushing, scrubbing, trimming, and shaving keeps us in the best form. Good personal hygiene makes people want to draw closer to you (and stick around), and this too is great for building your confidence.
5. Practice Fearlessness
Various factors within and outside a person influence the level of self-confidence they possess at any given time…However, we can practice being courageous at those moments.
The process of growth and development is usually unpleasant yet necessary. To enhance self-confidence you can not shy from practice. You must learn to lean towards situations you consider uncomfortable – it may be speaking up for yourself when you are treated unfairly, trying out new skills and experiences, et cetera.
You can only get better in whatever you desire by doing it often, even if you suck at first – self-confidence is realizing it eventually gets less awful.
6. Let Go of The Idea of Perfection.
Perfect people don’t exist, so don’t try to be one. It’s frustrating and futile to seek perfection.
If there was such thing as “perfect”, then it would have been achieved a long time ago and there would have been no need and room for growth and improvements.
Our world today enjoys the benefit of a good life due to the constant growth and improvement in technology, science, laws, and so on.
The idea of perfection is a skewed idea of reality propagated by media, and insincere cohorts.
Building self-confidence is about concentrating absolutely on your input (effort), and growth (progress), rather than the results (perfection).
We are so quick to forget. It’s like our memories of the old good days were wiped out – we easily overlook our wonderful successes in the past, when we encounter setbacks – a little flop of our present efforts.
When this happens, we pinch our skin, break the nearest objects, and we begin to doubt ourselves, Losing faith in our capacity to do it.
If this negative energy is reinforced, gradually it annihilates the surviving element of self-confidence.
You must pay attention to your response to setbacks along your paths. Do they make you doubt yourself? Do they cause you to suffer more than necessary? Do they reduce your workflow and energy? If they do, look back on your life and your accomplishments – chances are that you are not giving yourself enough credit… that you are forgetful of your past success. Revisit your past success, and savor its sweet memories.
8. Wear A Brave Face
The saying “fake it till you make it” surely seems outrageous and manipulative, yet I believe it carries some value.
I could recall my time in primary school. I was worried about getting bullied by the seniors.
Then, one day it occurred to me that if I appear weak I’d be preyed on, so started putting up a brave face to fend off the bullies, even though I was a chicken on the inside.
It wasn’t much of a surprise that it worked. This experience made me realize that I wasn’t as weak as I had imagined. Maybe it was all in my head, and by simply shifting my mindset, reality adjusted.
Sometimes all you might just need to do is appear more confident than you feel, and your confidence would rise.
Believing and wearing boldface is great, but nothing can take the place of knowledge and competence. So, don’t be foolish to attempt the impossible.
As you grow and feel stronger in your capacity to do a specific undertaking, be mindful of overconfidence (arrogance). It brings down the mighty and stains reputation.
However, if after applying all these techniques, you still find low self-confidence eating down into your daily life it may be a sign of something deeper.
In these instances, you might want to consider visiting a Therapist for professional help.
Whatever you do, be in the circle of people who care about your welfare and support your confidence.
David Ifeanyi is a writer and a photographer, with a decent background in music (as a guitarist and songwriter). He was also recognized as a promising young talent in art during Secondary school.
David cares so much about his family, friends and appreciates the beauty of humanity.
He uses his art to help people with their personal development, mental health, and relationships, whilst simultaneously illuminating different shades of our daily lives.