How Does Self-Love Change Your Life

How Does Self-love Change Your Life?

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Estimated Read Time: 4 min

Growing up as a child wasn’t a very smooth and pleasant experience for me because I was faced with many challenges which were so unhealthy for me. I grew up having to worry about my appearance and what the public thought of me. 

I saw myself as an unattractive, unwanted, and unacknowledged person. I lived with this uncool idea that I didn’t fit in anywhere, and that I was of low status for years. I felt even more out of place because of my height. 

I grew very tall (very quickly) which was quite uncommon for females. As a result, I couldn’t lead the way when walking with peers, nor occupy the front rows in school for fear of obstructing other kids.

But, I think the worst part of it all was the undue pressure I felt from home. I grew up in a very demanding home as I was always compared to other kids (both academic and social-wise). 

I was a brilliant kid – one of those kids always bagging straight “A”s – always taking the first place in Primary School until I got into High School. 

“Fire meeting volcano”, is perhaps the best expression of what happened. In High School, I met some really smart students (who were probably also taking first place back in their Primary School). The competition got stiff, and I was knocked down to second place (despite trying my best). 

But it would seem no one else appreciated my efforts. All I ever got from home was constant comparison with the first-place student. Although I didn’t like the feeling of being second, and the comparison made me feel less appreciated and isolated, I still strived harder, and harder to come first. 

I didn’t succeed in that.

Soon I started considering other bright students as rivals and threats. 

All these made me interact less with other kids within my age bracket, worsening the isolation I already felt (remember I already considered myself to be too tall and unattractive). 

My ego took punch after punch, my self-esteem plummeted, and I got angry at everything as I journey slowly and silently into isolation and loneliness

The depressing part of it all was that I had to watch people who I knew I was doing better than having fun and living their best lives.

Having to live this way – with a few supporting friends and lots of conniving foes – felt so stifling and suffocating. I needed to come out of that, else I might drown inside my own head, washed into oblivion, sinking into the ocean of misery and depression

I needed to voice out but who was willing to hear me out?

Everyone wanted me to be this or that. When I ran to my mirror, all I could see was the reflection of a broken, low-spirited girl filled with spite, shame, and self-pity for herself…I was teary-eyed, and my head bowed in defeat. 

All I could mutter while staring at my reflection was “This is not who you’re meant to be”. Right at that moment, I knew I had got to do something about myself, fast. 

It was high time I gave “ME” some self-recognition. It was time for me to love myself… care for myself…applaud myself. 

I needed a break…a break from the pressure, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, unhealthy comparison, and toxic competition. I had to try something new like self-love, positive self-appraisal, friendships, experiences, and generally changing my environment. 

I had to open my mind to new ideas and skills for the sake of learning and enjoying them, not just to compete or impress anyone. I could really use these I sighed.

Thankfully, before the end of 2021, I had already checked these off my bucket list.

And one thing I can testify is that I love this New “ME”. When I look back at myself from 5 Years ago, I know for sure that I am never going back to that pathetic life I used to live.

Self-love really does change your life for the better. Love yourself.

Join hundreds of other young people seeking to develop a mindset for unshakable happiness in a difficult society.

Jennifer Obinwanne is a writer who loves bringing words to life with delightful creativity. She loves researching her topics of interest and also enjoys playing Scrabble.

Join hundreds of other young people seeking to develop a mindset for unshakable happiness in a difficult society.

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