Lifestyle changes are very, very, very difficult, and in some cases near impossible. However, in life, there is always a need to change as there is always something that needs correction or at least improvement. On a personal level, I have undergone some really drastic and impressive changes and that is the reason I made this post, to tell you how I did it.
The thought of changing comes from the realization that something is wrong or missing. This is a feeling that plagues almost every human, it is normal. The problem, however, stems from most people’s inability to realize that they can do something about it. If you are reading this, it means you believe there is a way and that alone is a huge milestone you’ve just crossed in your quest for change.
Never the less the journey is still long and stressful.
The first step is realizing your flaws. It doesn’t just require you realizing a shallow want or craving, it requires you going much deeper than that. It requires you searching till you find the core of the whole uneasiness leading to the desire for change.
For instance, wanting more and frequent sex may be something a person craves, but this is not all, it is just the surface. Sex might just be a means to fulfilling the desire to be wanted, loved and cherished, or even powerful.
In order to change our lifestyle, we must have a clear picture of what it would look like, feel like and demands, not just an elaborate or vague picture else we might run the risk of turning into something we did not expect.
Emphasis is being placed on this because of how misleading the desire for change can be if not well considered. for instance, many people see their age mates making lots of money and they just sit and wish they had money too, and therefore, without questioning the process they begin to do any and everything they are told just to get the money only to end up having the money but losing something greater
Money is just a reward for being a rich person…Rich people can make money from thin air, it is not by magic, it is who they have made themselves to be. The question then is, which kind of rich person do you want to be?
I don’t know the kind of person you wish to become, or the values you wish to adopt, and even though I have my values, this very secret can work for anyone, no matter your values
I call my secret, “Ganging up”
United we stand, divided we fall– Aesop
I managed to condense the entire steps for changing one’s lifestyle into those words – Gang Up.
This is not about making friends, it’s not about segregation either, this is about generating momentum, it’s about influence, it’s about controlling your environment.
Imagine what would happen if someone decided to pick a fight with you but just when it was about to go down, five of your friends stood up simultaneously to back you up. In this scenario only two things are possibly going to happen, its either the person backs down or he/she gets a drubbing.
The environment is key, you might think you’re running your life but the truth is that your environment is running it.
People find it hard to switch things like religion, political parties, clubs (e.g football clubs), bad habits, and so on. Some of these people you’ll discover are highly principled and can stand on whatever decision they make, yet they seem to be stuck when it comes to issues that have a large number of supporters; Aka – Gang
This is because although we are individuals, we have adapted to survive in groups, it’s the reason parent’s advice their children to mingle with the smart kids and avoid the company of the dull kids in school, yet looking deeper into this classification of these children, the so-called smart kids may be considered complete suckers when it comes to non-academic activities ( i.e real-life problems)
It is quite simple, however simple isn’t always easy
People are urged to go to their places of worship as often as possible or participate in the activities of whatever body they have identified with, because, when people work in groups, they find it very hard to deviate from the commonly agreed behaviors. in psychology, this phenomenon is known as the crab mentality (explained on Wikipedia)
this works because doing anything contrary makes one seem like a hypocrite or inconsistent, plus there would always be people who would confront you if and when you deviate from the accepted lifestyle; and this is something most people try to avoid, especially when the person doing the confrontation is a person of influence (e.g your parents or boss)
The danger of this phenomenon is that you all could be helpful to society or cancerous to society, in any case, it’s hard to stop being a member of a gang, your lifestyle is REINFORCED over and over again until it becomes who you are.
GANG UP TO SAVE YOURSELF
You might think to yourself,” oh well, I am not affiliated with any organization”, but I’m sorry to break it to you, you are already involved in not just one, but multiple gangs – you are already one of them
If you are conversant with the Internet then you must have heard of the term “filtering”. Filtering implies not everything gets through, that’s to say only a permitted and possibly only selected contents get to you.
Removing contents is one thing Adding and following is another
The internet is full of Billions of people with different interests and goals, and they usually flock to where their interests are being considered, and that common interest is exactly what Ganging up is all about.
You might be tempted to say “that’s nothing”, but really its something. The moment you choose to listen to anything consistently, you automatically get sucked into that world.
from the celebrities online, to the bloggers blogging, it doesn’t really matter, as soon as you start listening to them, and following them, they begin to influence your opinions and views.
I know you have a lot of concerns now because I am trampling underfoot your belive of having any form of self-control, but what you don’t realize is that that is exactly the point I am trying to make. You got no self-control, none of us do.
All we are are a result of our genetic makeup coupled with our past experiences, nothing more. If in the past we have been scolded for stealing, all of a sudden we aren’t moved to steal, as long as the person doing the scolding did their part of providing the needed. Its a matter of complex calculations and evaluations. I have seen people who have been scolded for not acting violently, these are the people who would punch you in the nose and feel good about it because that was the way they were raised, not to mention the bad temper that runs in their DNA…
Until one realized how dangerous lessons can be, and how hard they are to unlearn, one won’t appreciate the dept of Ganging-up.
it is extremely important to choose what to listen to and what to stop listening to. there is this amazing thing about the human mind, its called the subconscious, and it literally dictates all our actions. the downside to this is that it’s like an open container, whatever gets in sticks around till when we die.
when we keep our subconscious tank unchecked, by allowing any and everything in, we begin to see anger, fear, hate, and many nasty things bubble up from within us, and then we wonder how come? but it isn’t rocket science, you let them in. you listened to that crap, and now you are moving with the wrong gang unknown to you
ALL YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE COMPLETLY
You see, the truth is that it’s quite impossible to capture one’s king with a single Pawn at a time, which implies that the effort of more than one piece is required to achieve any meaningful thing on the chessboard.
Government Policies are not made because of the strongest men said such policies should be made, they are made because men with influence said it should be made.
Influence, in other words, is gained with the number of people that are ready and willing to back up an individual.
The follows and likes on social media indicate – INTEREST, and that interest translates to influence, because, you know, it’s the people we like or follow that usually influence us, and in a way, they have become our gang leaders
I know the idea is getting all over the place, so I’m going to do my best to streamline it now.
Here’s the thing, Human Relationship with one another is like a web, we are all woven together, interconnected and interdependent, however, everyone is not equal, some individuals manage to gain enough support to be leaders and as a leader, they show others what to do or at least help people organize their ideas and bring their goals to realization,
It stands to reason that each leader is vehemently pushing a course and is directly influencing everyone under him(in his gang), all he would ever do or say would be to influence the people under him to act in a certain way, and everyone under him supports him and are ready to go any extent to protect and support him too. In other words, the followers too would seek to influence people within them thereby reinforcing the influence of the leader making the course they support even more widespread and socially accepted, thus creating the ideal gang
A celebrity that Smokes and uses drugs is directly influencing his fans, they too would smoke and do drugs and would definitely urge their friends to do the same.
Any friend that doesn’t do that is to an extent isolated and eventually kicked out of the gang, and because being left out or rejected isn’t such a good feeling most people tend to go along with the crowd, “it’s just for fun, I’m not an addict” the person would think to himself, not that smoking is the ultimate evil, but you don’t have to be an addict to suffer lungs cancer
The action gets reinforced over and over again, and soon the only people he would know would be those who do the same thing he does, leaving the gang won’t be that easy, not with their constant reminder of the need to belong and be a Bro OR Babe
It’s a feedback loop, just that this one has no end
NOTE: This strain would occur even if the individual wants to leave a group considered “Good”
GANGING UP – the final step on how to change your lifestyle completely
The good news, however, is this, every gang has the same pattern of influence, all you need to do is tune in to the frequency of that gang, every other thing takes care of itself.
In other words, if you want to change your life, you’re most likely going to achieve it by first changing your environment, by changing your darn Gang.
Avoid like a flue, anybody who tells you anything contrary to what you want to become, be it friends or family, television, social networks, etcetera. and associate with whatever group of people you want to be like.
they would make sure you become that, it’s not really your choice immediately you belong, they just drag you along. You can always trust the crab mentality to take over
For a bonus, watch this video below: it basically explains this same thing you just read (bad influence) but with background music and all…I, however, observed that he didn’t press on the fact that you really need to change those people
Finding the right set of people is very essential. it could mean the difference between success and failure. This is because like in a game of chess, one single Pawn doesn’t capture a king, it takes the whole gang.
By understanding this dynamic, that is how you change your lifestyle completely
Let’s go over everything one more time, shall we?
STEPS TO CHANGING YOUR LIFESTYLE
- Realize that there is something wrong ( Actively find them), or that needs improvement ( outline them )
- Have a clear picture of who you want to be and who you do not want to become
- Realize that your environment reinforces your characters
- Realize that you have very little control of yourself. You are to choose the things that get inside your mind because they would determine your future behavior.
- Change friends and environment, both online and offline
P.S: All humans can belong to a single Gang, it’s called Humanity(love for one another)
Leave your comments and O! if you want to know exactly how to make the right friends, then click on this link
long live the pawnDick David
A Self-Help Writer And Editor Who Keeps It Simple (Yet Elegant)