Our objective reality—which includes our relationships, careers, and all other aspects of our lives—is significantly shaped by our subjective reality—which is essentially the content of our minds: our thoughts and the way we think. This is because our thoughts and thinking processes directly influence our emotions, decisions, and, ultimately, our behaviours.
I saw the movie Straw last month. And I was so angry at the critics that I started to fear for myself: How could a message so clear, loud, and urgent be so completely missed?
Straw is a very simple movie. It wasn’t like a Christopher Nolan film with layers of twists and hidden meanings. It was a straightforward Tyler Perry movie that depicted the unfolding of a horrible day in a woman’s life.
And even if it is mostly fiction, it’s important to remember that nothing in this movie is impossible, or hasn’t in some way happened to a very real person somewhere.
I love movies that begin with the protagonist exploring the question, “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose?”, or “Do I even have a superpower?”. Especially when they have been singled out as special but don’t know why, yet. Think Neo from the Matrix, Po from Kung Fu Panda, or Harry Potter from, well, Harry Potter.
We often begin our personal development journeys because we feel we need more or lack something. Often, it is the pain of where and how we are that drives us to seek growth.
But what many of us fail to realise is that personal development is not the same as acquiring more, or even success.
I think there is something insidious about having someone or something that never admits being wrong – from parents and pastors who don’t like being questioned to presidents and gods who don’t condone being challenged – especially in this world where we have seen, time and time again, that everyone makes mistakes and many people suffer because of bad ideas.
While most people may not wish you harm on a very good day, it is important to realise that everyday they try to lay eggs of their values, opinions, ideas, wishes, expectations, or demands into your own life. And, those eggs, once they hatch, leverage your fears, ego, and other strong emotions to gradually compel you to nurture them.
We all have our selfish desires, but achieving things that are truly grand or worthwhile often requires the input of more than one individual. Hence, to achieve our selfish desires, we often need to do selfless things. And, even when success comes, the wise can tell that the most important thing was the tribe (not the selfish prize).
It’s far easier to see why others don’t get what they want. In fact, it is often somewhat laughable. But, why don’t you get what you want? That’s a whole different ball game
if your mind has come to associate success with pain – so that greater success means greater pain – you are bound to ultimately dread the greatest success you hope for.
putting your imperfect authentic self into the world invites the necessary feedback that helps you build a less imperfect authentic self.
The paradox is this: because being wrong publicly sucks, you become right faster by being wrong publicly.
