We often begin our personal development journeys because we feel we need more or lack something. Often, it is the pain of where and how we are that drives us to seek growth.
But what many of us fail to realise is that personal development is not the same as acquiring more, or even success.
I think there is something insidious about having someone or something that never admits being wrong – from parents and pastors who don’t like being questioned to presidents and gods who don’t condone being challenged – especially in this world where we have seen, time and time again, that everyone makes mistakes and many people suffer because of bad ideas.
While most people may not wish you harm on a very good day, it is important to realise that everyday they try to lay eggs of their values, opinions, ideas, wishes, expectations, or demands into your own life. And, those eggs, once they hatch, leverage your fears, ego, and other strong emotions to gradually compel you to nurture them.
We all have our selfish desires, but achieving things that are truly grand or worthwhile often requires the input of more than one individual. Hence, to achieve our selfish desires, we often need to do selfless things. And, even when success comes, the wise can tell that the most important thing was the tribe (not the selfish prize).
It’s far easier to see why others don’t get what they want. In fact, it is often somewhat laughable. But, why don’t you get what you want? That’s a whole different ball game
if your mind has come to associate success with pain – so that greater success means greater pain – you are bound to ultimately dread the greatest success you hope for.
putting your imperfect authentic self into the world invites the necessary feedback that helps you build a less imperfect authentic self.
The paradox is this: because being wrong publicly sucks, you become right faster by being wrong publicly.
You won’t find great friends in the library, church, or some group. You become a great person, and then great people resonate with you wherever you are. But, more importantly, you help yourselves stay great.
It is not always easy
Just as truly educated people go beyond what is taught in the University to be knowledgeable, so too we must go beyond religion to be good humans.
The first time I met James, I thought he looked a bit too young to be in the university. He was quiet, unusually slim for his height, and always carried a big backpack that was always full. To the best of my knowledge, he was just a chill colleague of mine who loved video games … Read more
