5 STEPS TO DEALING WITH PAIN
If you were wondering how to deal with pain, here are all the 5 steps to dealing with pain
- You must accept there is a pain
- You must ask where it is coming from
- You must realize that every pain can be elevated if you try
- You must then decide if you would tolerate that pain for a greater purpose: maybe religious or economic as the case may be
- and in the case of death, you must learn to accept and move on. Learning as much as you can and maybe even draw inspiration and strength from the loss
My grandma died last year in a particularly heart-breaking way, considering I always wanted to do something nice for her, it left a hole in my heart, a hole I didn’t realize was there until the thought of her death properly sunk in…she is no more, forever. I was in pain, so I learned how to deal with the pain
Pain is a universal constant, it is experienced by both plants and animals, and of course humans. It was a truth I had to swallow to properly deal with my pain. The pain brought some things to my notice, for instance;
- Pain showed me what I wanted to do and what I didn’t do
- It showed what I couldn’t do anymore
- It showed me where I’m at in life
- It showed me what I’ve accomplished so far
- It brought everything to my very face, to see all I’ve done so far and where it has led me.
Considering that this is the kind of pain that leaves a hole in the heart that would never get filled, it left a question with it, which was; do I ever want to experience this kind of pain again?
in a way, it was useful to me, to help me reevaluate a lot of things
HOW TO COPE WITH PAIN
You must have heard how they say, “she is copping” or “ he is handling it well”… that description though simple on the surface indicates something much deeper.
That qualification of “coping” or “well” is used only when the individual is doing something healthy and beneficial, however, whenever he or she starts doing something self-destructive, like substance abuse, excessive working, or starts to brood anger and hate, or maybe resorts to denial of the event altogether, the person is said to, you know, “not handle it well”
Although hard, it is necessary to understand our pain, or at least stop denying it. You need to properly understand what is happening
why the pain, what’s causing it?…is it really a lack of friendship, or love, or validation, or an injury or disability?… is it the inability to get what you crave?
It is only after understanding why the event is so painful that we can then decide how to handle our pain
When there is pain, there is almost always a thing to do in order to elevate it, and depending on how we respond to the pain, we can become better from it or ultimately get destroyed by it.
We can always do something helpful except when someone dies, in which case we are to learn to accept pain and also learn from it…
ACCEPTANCE OF PAIN
Felling pain is not bad, it is natural
Pain is like the body’s check engine signs, it indicates that something is not right, and so we should realize its function and constantly question its purpose.
What has pain thought? what is it driving me to do or not do?
Like losing my grandma… I would have stayed and not thought about it, but then the pain was there and when I faced it, I saw the pain, the hole, that craving to do something for the person that love and care for me, that yearning to see her happy and then watching her get snatched away by the cold hands of death.
This is pain…constantly reminding us of the need to do more or less of something, like a regulator. like our internal thermostat
What matters most is what the pain teaches us and what we do with that information….
Sometimes you need to make out the chance to look at your pain, to stare deep into the abyss of your heart to see your pains, to behold and let freighting darkness fills you with awe and dissolution, letting you know what is lagging or lacking in your life and what needs to be added or removed…
What’s your biggest pain? what gets you angry? what don’t you want to look at or consider? …Is it love, religion, family, money, status, etc.. if any triggers a hurtful feeling, then you have to do something about it ….
NEGLECTING THE PAIN
Suffering comes when we refuse to look at our pain or fail to do something about it…maybe we are unable to do anything about it, wish to endure it for a greater purpose or don’t really realize what it is costing us…
Suffering like pain is also an essential part of our lives, suffering is something we chose, unlike pain which chooses us, suffering most times arise when we decide that we wish to live with or ignore a particular pain…
It may be ..sometimes out of our control, but it arises when pain is prolonged. When pain is reoccurring and we can’t or don’t want to do something about it…
Sometimes, what matters most is how we look at this suffering, because that determines how we handle it.
Finding a greater meaning to the suffering,…sometimes we have to accept that that suffering is worth it, or unavoidable…
But When do you decide that the suffering should linger, and when should you take it off.
This post might not have given any particular answer to any particular pain, but that’s the thing about life, pains come in different forms and people experience pain in different ways.
The thing to take note of
HOW TO DEAL WITH PAIN IN SUMMARY
- we must accept there is a pain
- we must ask where it is coming from
- we must realize that every pain can be elevated if we try
- we must then decide if we would tolerate that pain for a greater purpose, maybe religious or economic as the case may be.
- and in the case of death, we must learn to accept and move on. learning as much as we can, and in a way draw inspiration and strength.
hope you found it helpful.
Most times in an attempt to elevate pain, many people get their hands dirty with acts that would later hunt and hurt them.
When they sacrifice their humanity in order to get rid of pain, let’s say committing a crime to make money, they would surely make that money only to start overcompensating, lavishing and squandering the money on expensive things in a hopeless attempt to make it all feel like it was worth it
But no, it would never be enough because just like the rest of humanity, they are stuck in the hedonic treadmill.
Pain is the universal constant, it never leaves, it is there to help us improve and make a better decision, in fact, it enables us to live Life wiser
Existence is Pain-Rick and Morty
Say no to Cybercrime, say no to fetish shits, say no to prostitution, say no to pornography, say no to anything that would cost you your humanity
Just fucking say no!… Because that utopia is a mirage, there is never a happy ever after, there is only a constant selection of pain, and you have to choose what pain you want to live with, you can’t run away from it, just learn to make better and informed decision to lessen the suffering because pain is the universal constant.
A Self-Help Writer And Editor Who Keeps It Simple (Yet Elegant)