“Like anything worth doing in life, happiness takes time and patience and consistency.” – Mark Manson
Many years ago, I took the bold step of moving out of my parents’ house to live alone. Why? Because I wanted to find my path as a person, make my own decisions, and suffer the consequences myself. I believed that’s how it should be. Until a person can make uninfluenced decisions, they can’t take … Read more
Yesterday, on my way from work, I passed a boutique and instinctively started looking for something my wife would love. Next to it was another boutique that sold menswear; interestingly, I walked past without even glancing. Then it hit me: almost everything I buy these days is for her, not me. Not because she asks. Not because I have to. But because I want to. That’s what love does: it redirects your focus without effort. That’s why I believe: if love feels like effort, something is wrong.
Laziness keeps many people stuck at a particular level in their lives. Not because they lack the ability to move forward, but because they postpone action when it matters most.
But here’s the hard truth: staying stuck and doing nothing because of laziness has a cost: It will keep you in the same place, day after day, while life quietly passes by.
We often imagine life as a straight line. Do X, get Y, or go from point A to point B. But most of us already know, life doesn’t always work out like that.
In our treacherous yet beautiful reality, the path looks more like what mathematicians call a “random walk with drift.”. It is a messy, unpredictable journey influenced by detours: chaos, choices, failures, and fortunes.
As children, people told us our 20s would be our prime: full of beauty, clarity, and everything falling into place. Some even advised us against overindulging – enjoying it so much that we make mistakes. But for many of us, our 20s seem to be the most confusing and painful time of our lives.
We often begin our personal development journeys because we feel we need more or lack something. Often, it is the pain of where and how we are that drives us to seek growth.
But what many of us fail to realise is that personal development is not the same as acquiring more, or even success.
I think there is something insidious about having someone or something that never admits being wrong – from parents and pastors who don’t like being questioned to presidents and gods who don’t condone being challenged – especially in this world where we have seen, time and time again, that everyone makes mistakes and many people suffer because of bad ideas.
While most people may not wish you harm on a very good day, it is important to realise that everyday they try to lay eggs of their values, opinions, ideas, wishes, expectations, or demands into your own life. And, those eggs, once they hatch, leverage your fears, ego, and other strong emotions to gradually compel you to nurture them.
We all have our selfish desires, but achieving things that are truly grand or worthwhile often requires the input of more than one individual. Hence, to achieve our selfish desires, we often need to do selfless things. And, even when success comes, the wise can tell that the most important thing was the tribe (not the selfish prize).
In this place where almost nothing works the way it should, well, money surely feels like the only way out. However, I like to think money isn’t the only thing that builds people or society – our attitude is far more critical.
