What You Should Know Before Dating [Me(n)]

I am writing this on the 6th of October 2025, though it will be published at a later date.

I am writing this after a couple of failed attempts at relationships this year.

I am writing this because I do not want to break another heart.

I am writing this because I want you to get me.

Appearance

You prolly know I am tall, handsome, with broad shoulders.

You prolly know I am not the best dressed in the room, but I do my best.

You prolly know I admire your physical appearance and might have told you too.

You prolly know I found you to be a very fascinating person, and that is why I said hi to you.

Mysteries

What you might not know is why I seem a bit weird and maybe even eccentric.

What you might not know is why I desire a relationship with you.

What you might not know is why I am single.

What you might not know is my heart.

Heart

They say the hearts of men are wicked.

They say men are just after sex and nothing more.

They say you should be careful who you date so you don’t waste time.

They say a lot of things, and sadly, I think many of what they say is true. 

Authenticity

This isn’t me trying to tell you that I am different, perfect, or can’t hurt you.

This isn’t me trying to tell you to accept me because I am a good person.

This isn’t me trying to tell you that I can’t live without you.

This isn’t me trying to impress you either.

Candidness

It is me trying to tell you I am not special.

It is me trying to tell you I am not perfect either.

It is me trying to tell you I want a relationship with you.

It is me trying to tell you the things to expect if you dare to say yes.

Background

I grew up with many siblings and both parents, in a house that was distant from the bustle of town.

I grew up in a household where lying, fighting, and insults were shunned and even punished.

I grew up in a household where wisdom, respect, and diligence were greatly valued.

I grew up in a household where love meant sharing, assisting, and being present.

Personality

You prolly know I am introverted yet bold.

You prolly know I am quick to admit my wrong yet never beg.

You prolly know I am not entitled, yet I always make my expectations clear.

You prolly know I am quick to support and appreciate, but I am not a people pleaser.

Beliefs

What you might not know is that I think men and women are equal despite their differences.

What you might not know is that I think humans are animals just like monkeys and fishes.

What you might not know is that I think the idea of God that religions portray is a lie.

What you might not know is that I think bodycounts don’t matter that much.

Perspective

They say make money, women will come.

They say don’t sleep with a man until he has married you.

They say you should keep your relationship private so it doesn’t get destroyed.

They say a lot of things, but honestly, I think they are mostly confessing their fears and pain.

Anti-objectives

This isn’t me trying to tell you I know better than everyone else.

This isn’t me trying to tell you what is right or wrong.

This isn’t me trying to get you to like me.

This isn’t me trying to sound smart.

Self-awareness

It is me trying to tell you why I am single.

It is me trying to tell you why I don’t vibe with most people.

It is me trying to tell you my position on the matters that often break relationships.

It is me trying to clearly, carefully, yet creatively show you my heart as well as perspectives.

Communication

I like it when both parties acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses; rights and wrongs.

I like it when issues are addressed head on rather than being left to fester and grow.

I like it when time and space are given to cool off when emotions are high.

I like it when people make time to talk things out, respectfully.

Dealbreakers

You prolly know I don’t tolerate lying or cheating.

You prolly know I don’t tolerate disrespect to me or others.

You prolly know I don’t tolerate physical violence to me or others.

You prolly know I don’t tolerate being transactional, even with sex or gifting.

Values

What you might not know is I value maximising our potential without neglecting ourselves.

What you might not know is I value freedom and individuality even within a relationship.

What you might not know is I value growth and becoming better versions of ourselves.

What you might not know is I value honesty above almost everything else.

Lifestyle

They say it is good to work out and stay physically strong.

They say it is healthier to eat natural meals as opposed to highly processed ones.

They say that without art, science, and philosophy, life would feel dull and humanity lost.

They say a lot of things, and over time, I have come to learn these very ones are absolutely on point.

Shortcomings

This isn’t me trying to say there aren’t times I don’t live up to those values and ideals.

This isn’t me trying to say that there aren’t ways in which I am difficult to love.

This isn’t me trying to say I don’t sometimes annoy loved ones.

This isn’t me trying to say I don’t make mistakes.

Interests

It is me saying I am here for the long game.

It is me saying I am supportive and can’t help but push you to be better.

It is me saying I am obsessed with growing up, levelling up, and stepping up.

It is me saying I am willing to have the long, boring, and difficult conversations. 

Goals

I wish to support people who are focused on helping others become better versions of themselves.

I wish to have kids whom I can share all the things I know, and watch them soar.

I wish to be a great author one day, whose work touches and changes lives.

I wish to build a brand and business that helps millions become better.

Past

You prolly suspect I want to get it right this time around.

You prolly suspect I have learned honesty up front saves heartbreak later.

You prolly suspect my failed attempts have mostly been due to a lack of compatibility.

You prolly suspect they are mostly about the ideas and topics I already mentioned here.

Intentions

What you might not know is that I also want to know what you might need, want, or struggle with

What you might not know is that I think it is okay if we are not compatible with each other.

What you might not know is that I am willing to learn and grow with you.

What you might not know is that I don’t want to force things.

Realities

They say money is important for a relationship to work.

They say distance and lack of intimacy kill a relationship.

They say compromises and forgiveness are critical for long-term relationships.

They say a lot of things, and honestly, many of these things they say are true and practical.

Expectations

This isn’t me trying to say you must agree with everything I believe.

This isn’t me trying to say I have all the answers figured out.

This isn’t me trying to say this is all to talk about.

This isn’t me trying to say this will be easy.

Hopes

It is me hoping what follows is a message from you.

It is me hoping what follows is a thoughtful and honest response.

It is me hoping what follows is a respectful conversation about our values.

It is me hoping what follows is a talk about the possibilities of a future together.

“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.” — George Orwel

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Did you enjoy reading this?

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