Porn and Masturbation: The Truth About Your Secret Guilty Pleasure11 min read

I don’t know what it is about sex that makes us blush when the topic is brought up. I once almost got into trouble for laughing uncontrollably in class while the topic of reproduction was being discussed in class. 

Anyway, apart from those awkward moments, I never really got anyone to educate me about sex or sexuality. Most of what I know about the topic was mainly from my personal research. 

Sex is an important topic, arguably more important than algebra or driving lessons. And, it is a shame young people are not being educated about it. 

Worse, I think there is a big problem with the way our societies handle topics related to sexuality when they eventually come up. For the most part, they shush you. However, when they do talk about it, it is often labelled as something to be avoided. 

It is not that they don’t have a legitimate reason for approaching the matter this way. No one really wants to teach a kid how to drive. Better to ask them to stay out of the vehicle. 

However, just like driving lessons, if you don’t get a good instructor when you are ready to have sex, you may end up causing serious harm (to yourself and others). 

Sexual lessons are seldom made available to ready teens. And, I’m not talking about the Reproductive System we learned in class. I am talking about in-depth talks about real desires and body parts rubbing together.

Tell Me More About Porn and Masturbation.

For many people, porn and masturbation are their first test drive – it is how they come to terms with their sexuality.

What Is Masturbation?

Masturbation is when someone stimulates their genitals for sexual pleasure – oftentimes by hand, or with the aid of an object or substance – which may or may not lead to orgasm. And as you can imagine, people won’t masturbate to brick walls, they need something to stimulate them, and that is where porn comes in.

What Is Porn?

Porn, in its various forms – be it text, images, audio, or video – explicitly portrays models in an erotic manner, accentuating them with sensational and exaggerated elements, often performing sexual acts. This tends to elicit a compulsive interest in the viewer. Typically carried out by professionals, the content undergoes extensive editing before publication, transforming it into a “supranormal” stimulus. In simpler terms, it triggers the normal reward mechanisms in our brains to a degree far more intense and pleasurable than the arousal derived from encountering an “average” naked person in real life.

Why Do People Get Hooked On Porn?

And because humans have a knack for sticking to what feels good, it is no surprise then that a lot of these people sort of get addicted to watching porn whilst masturbating, hand in hand – pun intended. (Oh look, that was another pun. I should really stop saying “pun” because it sounds like “Porn”).

Anyway, as expected, this addiction raises concerns for a lot of people – especially those with strict religious beliefs.

Is Porn and Masturbation Bad?

If you hold a belief that Porn and masturbation are bad, well, you’re trapped there. Porn and masturbation will always be bad and trigger some sense of guilt in you as long as you hold on to that belief. 

However, if you worry if porn and masturbation are scientifically and medically safe, and healthy, then the answer is “it depends on how you consume it”. 

However, you must understand that most claims about the negative effects of masturbation are not science-based. They are just there to spread fear – for reasons I can’t lay my hands on (another pun).

For instance, porn and masturbation will not cause:

• penis shrinkage
• infertility
• mental illness
• hairy palms
• impotence later in life
• erectile dysfunction
• blindness
• low sperm count
• penis curvature, or
• Physical weakness, though there might be a short interval of tiredness, just as with regular sex.

If we are being realistic, and honest about the whole porn and masturbation thing, we would find that masturbation, can:

• reduce stress
• enhance sleep quality
• boost concentration
• relieve menstrual cramps
• release tension
• elevate mood
• alleviate pain, and even
• improve sex

And it does all these without the risk of

• Unwanted pregnancies
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Sexual harassments
• Rape
• Blackmail
• Drama
• Manipulation
• Extravagant spending – to impress.

In fact, some people choose pornography and masturbation over sex; an idea now known as pornosexuality.

10 Dangers of Porn and Masturbation

Our society and culture have wrapped porn and masturbation with so much shame and disgust that many people feel embarrassed, guilty, or ashamed when talking about porn and masturbation. Even I who is writing this is not free from this. 

Whether or not watching pornography is dangerous is a complex question with no easy answer. It’s almost as complicated as asking if action movies are bad for society. Whilst some people might learn harmful behaviours from watching it, most people simply enjoy the content.  

There is also no scientific consensus on whether or not watching pornography is harmful. Some studies show that excessive consumption of Internet pornography (IP) can cause psychosocial-spiritual distress, loneliness, family conflicts, legal and financial consequences, and may be a sign of underlying mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Here are some other practical concerns with excessive porn and masturbation:

1. It can cause injury: Though the injury is usually mild – like chafing of the vagina or penis shaft. However, sex toys (especially when faulty, dirty, or wrongly used) can sometimes lead to more serious injuries, infections, and complications.
2. It can lead to infection and diseases: Unclean toys can cause bacteria and infections. Plus, in very extreme cases Peyronie’s disease – which is a build-up of plaque around the shaft of the penis – may arise from excessive vigorous stroking.
3. It can get addictive: Our brains are weird. And, porn often affects the brain in similar ways as a drug might. Just like in drug use, overstimulation by porn/masturbation triggers a need for even more stimuli to reach the same level of satisfaction. This is why people inevitably move from softcore to hardcore, and with more time, to more and more extreme variants, and in higher quantities and lengths. It becomes a bottomless pit – born out of lusts and insatiable desires.
4. It can trigger guilt and shame: Masturbation conflicts with many religious, spiritual, and cultural beliefs, and this is why this effect exists.  Religious individuals, who are often told pornography is morally wrong, are more likely to experience negative emotions or distress like depression and shame from pornography use. But, it is important to highlight that moral or religious beliefs may lead some people to believe they are addicted to pornography even when their porn use is low or average.
5. It can decrease your sexual sensitivity: Furious or excessive masturbation practices usually lead to reduced sexual sensitivity. For example, men who always grip their penis too tightly during masturbation, oftentimes experience decreased sensation. This leads to a need to go faster and seek tighter or larger genitals. Frequent porn use could leave men unable to perform sexually.
6. It can disrupt your daily life: In some cases, people lose control and masturbate more than they desire, which may cause them to miss important social events in their lives. Remember that masturbation, just like sex, may lead to tiredness, lethargy, and a drastic reduction in excitement or enthusiasm (for a short while).
7. It can become an excuse: Many people cling to porn and masturbation and even turn it into an escape – from relationships and real-life experiences. They enjoy the peace and control it brings them so much so that they object to getting committed to anyone or anything.
8. It may lead to anxiety: This is prominent among teenagers who are just getting to know their sexuality. When porn gets introduced into one’s life early, it brings along a lot of awkward feelings. And this sometimes even spirals into low self-esteem and isolation.
9. It may lead to unrealistic expectations: Porn is not real. There is the faking, surgeries, and video edits. Breasts are not that firm and people don’t last that long or do all those crazy positions during sex. Porn conjures unrealistic expectations of beauty and sexual capabilities.  Sometimes, this can lead to inferiority complex, or unfair comparisons.
10. It may cause relationship problems: And finally, apart from the impact on the individual, porn addiction can lead to problems in a relationship. Most people would feel hurt finding out their partner consumes porn. It makes them feel replaceable and objectified. It may also deteriorates trust and soon brings disgust and breakups.

However, other studies have shown that pornography can have positive effects, such as increasing sexual knowledge and reducing sexual anxiety.

If you’ve found yourself trapped in porn and masturbation already, there is something I think you need to know.

Is Porn and Masturbation Even The Problem?

The real problem is not porn or masturbation as they are merely responses to underlying issues/needs. 

Hardly anyone teaches you to feel comfortable with yourself as creatures that naturally crave sex and care. No one guides you in understanding the wonders of your body, the passion and pleasures that can be experienced. So, it is often a surprising discovery to many. 

Worse, when they do make their discoveries overt, they are instantly shamed. So what do they do? They go to porn to learn more, and what follows soon is masturbation.

Lack of sensitization/education is a major cause of most “addictions” – porn and masturbation just being one of these. 

And, shame can make it harder to quit an addiction because it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, you are less likely to believe that you can change. And, when you are feeling ashamed, you may revert back to your addictions to numb the pain. This, of course, only makes the addiction and the accompanying negative feelings worse in the long run. 

Keep in mind that it is this lack of understanding about our sexuality and the sexuality of others that brings about awkwardness and anxiety. It is what leads to shame and hiding. It is what leads to dysfunction. It is what leads to all the negative consequences born from excesses.

Yes, porn and masturbation have their negative side effects, but so do highly processed foods. The issue is often how it is used. I argue that it is both unjust and unwise to paint porn and masturbation as dirty, unholy, sinful, evil, or shameful. 

Why? Such a label only goes on to teach the mind that things that are labelled negative actually feel better than the things labelled good. The result is that some people can lean on to accept all that is bad, including those that are really, really bad – i.e. rape, stealing, murder, and worse.

That is why, I think it is important for more and more people to learn how to disassociate the guilt from their guilty pleasure, and instead understand what is helpful and what isn’t.

Conclusion: Learn More About Your Sexuality

My only advice to you, my dear reader, is don’t be ashamed of your sexuality. Instead, learn to appreciate and gain control over it. 

But, avoid trying to learn about your sexuality from porn (as they are often dramatic, unrealistic, and extreme), rather consume educational content that will enlighten you. 

Also, practice delayed gratification when it comes to masturbation. Keep in mind that too much of anything leads to harm, or at least, diminishing returns. So, don’t spend your whole day touching yourself. Rather use your spare time to do things that can better your life, such as reading, exercising,  meditating, etcetera.

Finally, don’t be afraid to go out there and tell someone you like that you would love to have something to do with them. You will be pleased to know that billions of people might be sharing similar interests.

Here are some content you might find helpful: 

• Guilty Pleasures: 5 Steps To Overcome The Unnecessary Shame. 
• Sex – what to know before your first time having sex
• How To Make Girls Beg To Be With You – [Your Crush May Get Jealous If You Don’t Pick Her]