Spirituality: A Path To Becoming Your Best Self [And The Role of Religion]9 min read

It’s estimated that there are 2.365 billion Christians, 1.907 billion Muslims, 1.152 billion Hindus, 506 million Buddhists, and 1.193 billion people who are Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist. 

These numbers reveal one undeniable truth: we live in a religious world. 

But beneath all that diversity, our core motivations are more similar than we think. Whether through faith or science, we’re all searching for answers to life’s biggest questions; what are we doing here? We all share that urge to make sense of the world and find our place in it.

This shared pursuit of understanding is where spirituality intersects with religion and even science.

In this article, we’ll break down what spirituality truly means and show how religion can both help and sometimes hold back your spiritual growth, so you can better navigate your own path.

What is Spirituality?

At its core, spirituality is about seeking a deeper connection with something bigger than yourself, whether you call it God, the Universe, or even your untapped potential.

However, I prefer to simplify it. Spirituality is YOU + A MANAGED EGO = A CLEARER REALITY.

What does this clearer reality look like?

Think of your ego as the default setting on a camera lens. It shapes how you see the world, but it often centers everything around you, distorting reality. By tweaking that lens (managing ego), you begin to see not just a clearer, wider view, but your place within it. You’re still behind the camera, but now you realise that you’re part of the picture, not just an observer.

You can’t completely ditch your ego (desires and impulses). That’s neither possible nor desirable. After all, those aspects are part of what makes up your uniqueness. The goal is to unite your ego with reality in a healthy way – to harmonise your ego with the world, recognising that you are a thread woven into the larger fabric of reality.

It’s about expanding your idea of your “self” to include more of the world around you and not self-erasure, blind faith, or obedience. It’s about realising that you are inherently part of the world around you.

Your perspective expands and life feels more meaningful when you embrace this truth.

Embracing this perspective makes you less reactive, more curious, and more skilled in both handling and accepting life’s challenges. It’s like science with a mystical touch. The “mystical” part comes from recognising that not everything can be measured or fully explained, yet it can still be felt and appreciated.

In practice, this might look like:

• Listening to understand, not just to respond.
• Considering viewpoints that challenge your beliefs.
• Being more empathetic and compassionate towards others.
• Recognising your biases and working to overcome them.
• Finding joy in others’ successes, not just your own.
• Accepting criticism without feeling personally attacked.

And so on…

You are spiritual when everything that makes you who you are connects with the world, rather than blocking you from truly experiencing it.

Why Do People Rely So Much on Religion Instead of Spirituality?

Religion is any belief system built on three key ideas:  

1. The afterlife (believing in something beyond death, like heaven, reincarnation, or another form of eternal existence).  
2. Belief in a deity (a god or supernatural force that influences and guides the world).  
3. Conversion (the act of bringing others to adopt the belief, often through personal experiences or spreading the faith).

On the surface, most of us turn to religion for comfort, answers, or a sense of divine connection. But like a tree, religion also contributes to society’s “ecosystem” in ways we don’t always see. It strengthens communities, offers moral guidance, and preserves cultural traditions. These deeper functions go beyond personal desires, they shape the world we live in.

Yet, not all of its impacts are positive. Religion can be twisted for manipulation, fraud, or even warfare against those who believe differently. Its rules can fuel guilt, shame, and internal conflict. It’s a double-edged sword, capable of both nurturing and destroying.

This is why, when people discuss religion and someone disagrees, they often react without thinking. They may quickly respond with ideas they’ve heard before, ones that might be outdated, irrelevant or practically impossible.

Often, they don’t pause to reflect on why they believe what they do or truly listen to what the other person is saying. Much of this reaction is rooted in fear. Fear of punishment, fear of losing status, or fear of not fitting in which makes calm, open discussions difficult.

What Religion Is Meant to Be

I was raised in a Christian home, took part in several Bible quiz competitions, and even shared the gospel in my neighbourhood on most Saturday evenings. But over time, a lot has changed – both in me and in how I engage with the world.

Today, I see religion as training wheels on a bicycle. At first, they offer stability and confidence, helping you stay balanced. But as you grow and improve, you outgrow them. Eventually, you take them off; not out of rejection, but with gratitude for their role in your learning, knowing you’re now ready to ride on your own.

Like training wheels, religion provides support when we’re first discovering our beliefs and values. It gives us direction, support, and a sense of belonging while we navigate life’s challenges.

However, holding on to those training wheels for too long can limit you. They can prevent you from making bold, necessary moves, keeping you from becoming a truly skilled rider.

For instance:

• Ideas like prayer as a cure-all can discourage questioning or exploring new perspectives.
• Tying your worth to virginity can lead to guilt over natural behaviors that clash with religious rules.
• The belief in being ‘chosen people’ can foster division and feelings of superiority.

But when you take off the training wheels, you begin to understand:

• It’s not about being an atheist or a believer.
• It’s not about choosing between Jesus or Allah.
• It’s not about dividing people into “us” and “them.”
• It’s not even about “attaining enlightenment” or “succeeding”.

It’s about moving beyond black-and-white thinking and rigid labels. Human experience is too complex to be neatly split into opposing sides. 

This (spiritual) growth nurtures empathy and openness to different viewpoints.

As we gain wisdom, we begin to question old beliefs and seek a more nuanced understanding of life. This doesn’t diminish the value religion once had, but it acknowledges that our needs are evolving.

It’s about developing a worldview that is flexible, compassionate, and grounded in reality, while still maintaining a sense of wonder and connection to something greater than ourselves.

Does Spirituality Have to Be Religious? 

Spirituality isn’t a one-size-fits-all deal. There are diverse perspectives about it and how it can be experienced. No holy book to follow, no strict rules to obey. It’s just you picking what is meaningful to you and helpful to others. 

Spirituality manifests differently for everyone:

• A person pursuing self-growth is spiritual.
• An artist expressing emotions is spiritual.
• A teacher sharing knowledge is spiritual.
• A parent loving their child is spiritual.
• A creator improving lives is spiritual.
• A leader inspiring others is spiritual.
• A friend offering support is spiritual.

This is because acts like these help you connect with something outside and larger than yourself – whether you think of it as God, nature or humanity as a whole. 

In the end, spirituality is personal yet meant for the benefit of others. It’s about accepting yourself as part of the messy reality you find yourself in, and living to contribute to its evolution (by indeed, improving yourself).

Conclusion: Spirituality Fosters a Life of Peaceful and Conscious Living

Transitioning from a rule-bound life to spiritual freedom isn’t easy. It takes courage to challenge deeply held beliefs and embrace uncertainty, but the reward is worth it. By letting go of rigid thinking, we open ourselves to endless possibilities and deeper connections.

True spirituality is about awareness and connection with ourselves, others, and the world around us. It’s about finding meaning in everyday moments, from the love of family to the beauty of a starry night. It’s about seeing the divine in both the ordinary and extraordinary.

This doesn’t mean abandoning structure. It’s about approaching life with an open heart and mind, allowing our understanding to grow as we do. What we once thought were hard rules may have just been guides to help us find balance until we were ready to walk our own path.

Remember, spirituality isn’t about reaching a final destination or being perfect. It’s about the journey, with its twists and turns, challenges, and discoveries. Find peace not in strict rules, but in the unfolding process of learning, growing, and connecting with something greater than yourself.

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