Adult Responsibilities Weighing You Down? Rediscover Your Childlike Attitude To Overcome9 min read

Too many adults are not happy. They dislike the responsibilities that come with adulthood. They’re dissatisfied with (the position they are in) the society and systems we’ve built and live in. Rather than being internally driven, they’re pushed to act by societal pressure. From work to relationships, life often feels like a chore. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Many people become ill-fitted cogs in a system that grinds them down, wearing and tearing them until they give off screeching sounds. Others, detesting this fate, choose instead to take from the system without giving anything of value. I’m referring to those who resort to unlawful or unethical actions.

Many adults now approach life with the intent to break away from the system (or “escape the matrix”) or to game the system to become rich, successful or happy. But, this is not wise and is often futile. 

Why?

Because the system is what keeps us all alive and happy. The problem is the solution.

That is why, ironically, the person who thinks the system is bad still needs good bartenders and mechanics; they still detest cheats, liars, and sloths.

Embrace Adulthood With a Healthy Mindset

Yes, the system is not perfect. But, what is? Who is? Why expect perfection from a system built by imperfect people using imperfect tools? There is very little hope of building a perfect system. And, maybe we don’t need perfection.

Just as any healthy relationship is built and loved by imperfect people who do not seek perfection, but something healthy, meaningful, and purposeful, so also one must build and love the imperfect system.

Adulthood comes with challenges. And adults must tackle those challenges.

But this doesn’t mean you should do a job that sucks the life out of you or endure a toxic relationship. While technology and boundaries can help, they do not eliminate the burdens of adulthood. 

And, that is why you need to develop a healthy attitude towards the inconveniences that remain.

A healthy attitude? 

Yes. You must learn to embrace the pain that comes with life. And, more importantly, find meaning in the pain.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz

Adult Lessons from Children’s Approach to Life

Look at kids. They are exceedingly happy beings. But, that doesn’t mean they don’t experience pain. Kids arguably suffer more (avoidable) pain than adults. Kids literally cry almost every day. But, does that make them grumpy?

I think the issue is that we have somehow been tricked into believing that things outside of ourselves can make us happy. While, in reality, happiness springs from within, and then touches on everything else.

This is why kids are superiorly happy. They celebrate finding a smooth pebble on the riverbank and jubilate over a weirdly shaped stick they found in the bush. They marvel at the taste of sugar and don’t mind bathing themselves in fine sand, relishing the feeling of its grains on their tender skin.

It is not that they don’t register the injuries, exhaustion, and losses. Rather, it is simply that they take everything as play. Even studies suggest that playfulness is associated with positive emotions, reduced stress, and increased resilience.  

Kids live excitedly, focusing on what is without any attachment to it. 

They can formulate games with no strict rules or structure, and modify them as they progress – often adapting to the energy and personalities of those involved, optimising for enjoyment of the struggle itself.

What if you too can do that in your life?

What if you can enjoy your burdens?

“It’s hard to keep hope alive on an empty stomach, but you stand no chance for a filled stomach if you lose hope or give up” – David Ifeanyi

Approaching Adult Responsibilities with a Playful Mindset

You are not so different from those kids, you know? No one likes a game that has no challenge. If you bought a car racing game and all you had to do was hold down the accelerate button to win the race, you probably wouldn’t enjoy playing it. 

So also, no one wants a life with no challenges. That’s a boring life. You want a fair bit of struggle. That’s why you set goals and dream big. You want to overcome obstacles, beat the time, and even compete against other experienced players. 

That is similar to the responsibilities of adulthood. You need to 

• Skill up and work hard, to compete with other professionals in the market and earn more money.
• Take care of your health, to maintain your energy and ability to enjoy life’s challenges and pleasures.
• Develop your emotional intelligence, to navigate personal and professional relationships more effectively and build a resilient mindset.
• Cultivate a sense of curiosity, to keep learning and growing, ensuring you stay adaptable in an ever-changing world.
• etcetera.

It’s a game you can play (and enjoy).

But, the issue is most people have lost that sense of play. They don’t see it as a game where you enjoy the struggle, test your might, and try to beat fair and square. Sadly, they don’t benefit from the creativity and learning that comes with a playful attitude. 

As a child, you didn’t need a reward for your actions but simply had to use your energy till you ran out of breath, fell asleep, and woke up enthused to do it all again. Sure, you’re not a kid anymore, but, how have you been feeling about getting exhausted? How do you feel about waking up to do it all again? Do you like it?

My Dad was a mechanic, and although he sometimes complained of the stress (and it was indeed stressful), he overall enjoyed what he did. I have been with him in the shop on multiple occasions when my Mom would be calling for him to come back home because he lost track of time, or just wanted to finish the work. And, I could see the deep satisfaction he had whenever he kickstarted a bike after repairs. I also feel this deep satisfaction whenever I finish a piece (like this one you’re reading).

If you’re honest, you already know this feeling too. There must have been something difficult you enjoyed successfully doing.

Conclusion: Don’t Lose Your Childlike Spirit

I’m not saying adulthood is not difficult. I’m not arguing that you should have no worries for the future like a kid. Rather, I’m helping you remember the attitude you had as a kid, and how that can help you scale through the difficulties of adulthood (just like a kid would still smile with most of their front teeth gone, and sometimes a bandaid or two).

The question is, how much more productive would you be if you approached your work with determination to get it done, gleeful that you had the opportunity and joy that you did a good job? 

Do you think maximising your energy, time, and creativity into completing a project would help you see more success than doing the least you can, finding ways to waste time, and seeking distractions or pleasures to numb your mind?

How would the attitude of a kid to handle failure without losing enthusiasm benefit you?

What if you didn’t have to suffer angst whenever you didn’t get the promotion, lost some money, or got a paper cut? 

What if you cried – or talked to someone about it, perhaps in therapy or prayers – and then just moved on?

What if you learned to be happy with doing your best?

What if you woke up tomorrow excited to do it all over?

“The thing that’s so unique about our species is that we’re really designed to play through our whole lifetime.” – Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute of Play

Books To Help You Approach Adult Life and Responsibilities With Resilience and Enthusiasm

• “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael A. Singer: This book is highly relevant as it directly addresses how to deal with life’s pressures by adopting a mindset of acceptance and “surrender” to life’s flow. It offers a unique perspective on reducing stress and finding contentment in adulthood.
• “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl: This classic work is incredibly pertinent to maintaining hope and finding purpose in difficult circumstances. Frankl’s experiences and insights can help adults find meaning in their struggles, which is crucial for happiness and resilience.
• “12 Rules for Life” and “Beyond Order” by Jordan Peterson: Both of Peterson’s books offer practical advice for navigating the complexities of adult life. They address personal responsibility, finding meaning, and creating order in one’s life, which are key to managing adult pressures and developing a fulfilling lifestyle.
• “The Mountain Is You” by Brianna Wiest: This book is particularly relevant as it focuses on overcoming self-sabotage, a common issue for many adults struggling with life’s pressures. It offers strategies for personal growth and self-mastery, which are essential for developing a happier lifestyle.

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If you found this piece helpful or have questions, please let us know in the comments section. 

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