Being Better: Religion, Atheism, and Why Both Sides Fall Into the Same Trap

On a podcast interview, Neil deGrasse Tyson was asked if he thought he would be happier if he were religious. Neil replied that he was already “a pretty happy guy”. But when pressed further, he explained that religious people believe their religion to be true and can easily see that other religions are preposterous and false. However, if each religion considers the other preposterous and false, that should make them question which is really true.

“The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” — Mark Twain

Commenting on this, Brittney Lowe Hartley explained that what Neil was really doing was showing that many religious people don’t necessarily value truth — because if they did, a conundrum like the one Neil pointed out should have jolted them to question and investigate their faith more critically, maybe even scientifically. But they don’t. Rather, they believe — and have faith. Hence, for people like Neil, who value the hard, bare truth, being religious would likely be a sure way to be miserable.

And I resonate with that, because it was the search for what is actually true that caused me to abandon Religion. I continued to seek evidence, logical explanations, and practicality — all to no avail. The harder my faith clashed with cold, indifferent reality, the more nihilistic I became. But then, I moved past that (which is a topic for another day).

However, not everyone holds truth as their highest value. Not everyone feels the frustration of believing in something that has no evidence or even contradicts evidence. And because religion offers many other things — community, purpose, rituals, and comfort — often at our most vulnerable moments as children, when struggling, or when lost, it makes sense that many who have been raised to value these other good things, who need these other good things, find Religion indispensable.

The Joy of Believing: Why Smart People Stay Religious

Many people value loyalty and connection over truth and fairness, and so, they are often happier being religious — and miserable if you pull them away from religion. Surveys have shown correlation between religiosity and greater levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

It’s not a matter of being smart or dumb — both religious and non-religious people have their share of foolish folks. In fact, some of the most religious people I know are remarkably intelligent and creative. They are mathematicians, engineers, doctors, etc. — people who would beat you at chess as easily as they would at painting.

So why, despite their big brains, do they still believe unverifiable and sometimes untestable claims?

I think it’s because they either made a deliberate choice to embrace the comfort and community that belief offers, or because their faith isn’t rooted in rational thinking — just as love for a friend, family member, or spouse may be illogical yet still makes us happy and serves a deeper purpose.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart” — Helen Keller

It is no surprise then that many religious people would often feel pity for non-religious people who are not experiencing the sense of peace, joy, or comfort that comes with believing in [insert the name of their God].

Brittney Lowe Hartley further highlighted that while many atheists or secularists think that telling people things like “God doesn’t exist,” “Think for yourself,” and so on will help bring about a better world free from all the problems religion brings, they risk falling into the same trap religious people fall into — which is believing that if everyone just believed “God made everything,” “God knows what’s best for everyone,” and so on, then the world would be a better place, free from all the problems ungodliness brings.

At the end of the day, it’s two sides of the same coin.

Two Sides of the Same Coin: When Believers and Non-Believers Both Become Dangerous

The reality is that societal improvement doesn’t require everyone to abandon religion. We are deeply superstitious creatures who can’t help but invent or cling to beliefs –  be it political, religious, financial, etc.

Nevertheless, history (from the Egyptian pyramids to the founding of democracy) shows that deeply religious people and societies have contributed immensely to science, medicine, art, ethics, and morality. But, more importantly, it has shown that progress has often come from better institutions, clearer thinking, and mutual respect across different worldviews — not just from killing God or gods.

And if we’re being honest, scientists and atheists aren’t completely free from the problem of “believing without evidence” either. They’ve been misled by false archaeological findings, faulty experiments, and statistical errors. They still fill in the blank spaces of our understanding with hypotheses and theories yet to be proven.

The difference isn’t that scientists don’t believe, but that they adhere to systems that correct beliefs when they’re wrong. That process is slow and messy — though faster and more flexible than that of religion (which is sadly how religion gets in the way).

And while it is tempting to say, “The scientific method is better, and so everyone should adopt it”, history reveals that forcing others to adopt a single worldview often leads to suffering and destruction.

During the Inquisition, people were tortured and executed for questioning religious doctrines. Scientists like Galileo were arrested, and countless others lived in fear of sharing their scientific discoveries. Even in more recent times, religious extremists have shamed, exiled, or killed in the name of defending God’s will (see the News).

On the flip side, during the French Revolution, Churches were closed, priests were persecuted, and people were shamed for their religious beliefs. The same thing happened later in the Soviet Union, where religion was treated as a disease to be cured. Believers were persecuted, places of worship destroyed, and entire communities punished in the name of progress.

Both began with the intention to make the world better, but ended up creating fear and oppression.

The road to hell, as they say, is paved with good intentions.

“‘Kindly let me help you or you will drown,’ said the monkey putting the fish safely up a tree.” – Alan Watts.

Brittney Lowe Hartley, echoing people like Alain de Botton, Carl Jung, and Friedrich Nietzsche, suggests a better alternative: 

Build and improve what secularism offers — giving non-believers community, guidance, rituals, and meaning — making it more supportive of those who lean toward truth and logic.

And on the other hand, curb the excesses of religion – for example, make it illegal to threaten children with hellfire as that’s psychological torture, ban homeschooling that isolates kids and produces poorly adjusted adults, and regulate how much religious organisations can collect from members, since it often leads to exploitation – making religion healthier for those who lean toward loyalty and community.

Both sides can improve society if they focus on their own excesses instead of trying to eliminate the other.

And, thankfully, countries like Japan have implemented this into their laws.

Conclusion: It’s Not About Being Right, But Being Better.

Even this stance of trying to understand both sides is still a stance — say, the edge of the coin. And it comes with its own trade-offs. For starters, I appear more tentative than confident. 

I’m not religious, I don’t support any football club, and I only listen to debates to figure out the truth, not to take sides. You can tell I score low on spirituality, don’t feel the thrill of a team winning a cup, and rarely engage in the endless celebrity feuds online. I seek truth — and what might promote well-being — even if it means being proven wrong, told I’m wrong, or discovering it myself. 

But, even with these tradeoffs, even when it hurts, I feel a deeper joy knowing that I now know something truer, or at least that I no longer hold a lie.

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.” — Henry David Thoreau

Yet I’ve also come to accept the unsettling truth that most people don’t want the blunt truth (which may feel nihilistic, sometimes), and neither does uncertainty sit well with them (this goes for both Theists and Atheists). 

People don’t want to drift.

I don’t think that’s a tragedy.

I think we shouldn’t obsess over being right, but over being better. 

And maybe, if the religious and the non-religious compete on that, the world will actually be better.

***

Did you like this? Leave a comment and share with friends and family.

Here are some other content you might like: 

1. Religion for the Nonreligious
2. Should We Abandon Religion? Growing Beyond Blind Faith
3. Religious Trauma: A Dark Side Of Religion [10 Steps To Overcome It]
4. Spirituality: A Path To Becoming Your Best Self [And The Role of Religion]
5. The Role Of Critical Thinking In Seeking The Truth. [+11 Critical Thinking Tools]