Polished Storytelling Is Ruining Our Society: Why Stories Should Be More About The Struggles Than Spectacles6 min read

Before smartphones and television, many African days ended the same way: with children gathering around the campfire, listening to stories told by the adults. Stories about the tortoise and the hare, the antelope and the hunter, and so on. They didn’t need to be true to be enjoyed or important.

During my childhood, when television just became a thing, I remember seeing Tales by Moonlight—one of my favourite shows on the Nigeria Television Authority (NTA) – with my siblings. We would sit on the floor, eyes glued to the screen, as the narrator went about the story. We didn’t care if a tortoise could really outrun a hare. In fact, we don’t remember every detail of the story. 

But we remember how they made us feel and the lessons they conveyed. Those stories showed us what it felt like to be loved, betrayed, deceived, or even supported. They taught us how to live with honour. Stay cautious of pride. Help those in need. And so much more. 

What We’re Getting Wrong About Storytelling 

Today, it seems we are mistaking spectacles for storytelling – we seem to be using them as a way to embellish ourselves, rather than reveal the truth of who we are, what we aspire towards, and what we failed at. 

On social media, people and brands shout advice, curate achievements, and act like they’ve figured it all out. Parents hide their past mistakes. Leaders mask their failures. And small businesses fake or exaggerate their success. 

Consequently, we now have a generation that is growing up believing they’re the only ones who are imperfect and struggling. As though failure, betrayal, struggles, disease, injuries, lack, stains, death, etc. are not all part of what life is.

If you ask me, storytelling isn’t about sounding smart, being right, or appearing flawless. Neither is it about getting likes nor rewards.

It’s as simple as saying:

• “Here’s what happened”
• “Here’s is what I went through.”
• “Here’s what I’m still trying to do.”

And, that’s what counts, strikes, and sticks — that’s what we feel and learn from. 

We might watch a perfect TED Talk that impresses us for ten minutes. But a fumbling voice note from a friend who says, “I don’t know if your idea will work, but I recommend you give it your all”, stays with us. Because human connection is beyond logic. It happens in the heart.

And it is the heart that really gives you an edge in this life, not just the often incomplete data or biased studies.

Why Your Story Matters Now 

Beneath the hum and hurry of modern life, we all want to know we’re not alone, gain clarity in areas of life that are scary, and belong to a tribe that gets us. 

The world is advancing so quickly, thanks to technology, but we might just be circling back to that ancient truth. No, not the blazing campfires, but a digital hotspot. It may be a blog, podcast, vlog, or a meet-up somewhere between like minds… A place where people gather, not to perform, but to belong. A  tribe where we share stories that give us what we desperately need – the inspiration, hope, and a chance to connect with others who nudge us to become our best selves.

That’s why at Pawns, storytelling is not a trend or tactic. It’s a tool for reflection, connection, and growth.

Because behind every skill, achievement, or invention, there’s:

• A child who wanted to make their parents proud.
  
• A friend who showed up in hard times.
  
• A student who was genuinely interested and curious about a subject.
  
• A young fellow who was frustrated by a particular problem.

And when we share these parts of ourselves,  gradually, we begin to understand and connect the dots of who we were, who we are, and who we could be.

It also helps others. Others can learn from your tales by the digital moonlight. 

And for me, J. Cole’s story is one example that demonstrates this so well. He raps about growing up with his mum and brother, struggling to distribute his early music that no one wanted, chasing his basketball dream that didn’t work out at the time, falling in love, messing up, and trying again.

But he doesn’t just talk about pain, he talks about pushing through. About wanting more, yet staying humble. About making his folks proud, getting out of a tough, rough neighbourhood, and going back to lift others up.

Today, it’s easy to look at him and forget where he started. He’s one of the biggest names in hip-hop music. He worked with PUMA to create his own shoe; the Sky Dreamer. He hosts one of the popular annual music festivals. He’s married now, with two kids. He even got to play pro basketball, even if just for a little while.

I’ve followed his story since I was a teenager. And in a way, it helped shape mine. It also gave me the courage to start living mine. 

You too can do the same — through whatever means that resonates with you. You can find that human connection and draw strength from the works of others, in whatever form that feels right for you.

Conclusion: Let Your Story Remind Someone They’re Not Alone

You don’t have to be sure.

You don’t have to be healed.

You don’t have to be a writer.

You just have to be real.

You just have to be honest.

You just have to be human.

Tell your story; through a piece of writing, a video, a voice message or even through photographs.

Not to set the internet on fire. But to tap into the light inside of you. 

“People admire strength, but they connect over struggles.” —Mark Manson

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1. 10 Reasons Why It Matter To Tell Your Story [+ 10 Simple Storytelling Formulas/Structures With Examples]
2. The Courage to Be Wrong: Why Authentic Self-Expression Is Your Path to Freedom and Growth
3. Atelophobia: Conquer Your Fear of Imperfection with These 5 Tips
4. The Art of Sharing Sensitive Stories: Talking About Hard Topics Without Hurting Anyone
5. Finding Purpose In Pain: How To Grow Through Pain (Instead of Suffering)