WHEN THREE PLAY TOGETHER
What is the limit of what a friend can say to you and you still consider them a friend, well it all depends on the context and of course you.
Growing up, the major language I got to hear was my native language which was far from close to English, for some funny reason I’m not fluent in that language, however, I was quite good with what is considered the Nigerian central language, nope, not English, it is Pidgin.
The language consists of a terrible mix of English, Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba , and I think there are even elements of Germany and Italy in it….Everything you say is right, there is no wrong or right, all you have to do is blend these languages and even add a spice of your own code language and say whatever thing you wanted, it always goes down well like a cold drink. All that matters is that you communicate what is on your mind
For instance, if I wanted to say a girl was greedy, I would simply say ”she too day do open-eye ”, forget about the meaning of the individual words, what I was trying to express is that greedy look on her face, that wideness of eye when someone sees something they like and want to poses it by hook or crook. Like when you imagined stuffing that entire cake into your mouth
Think about smiling
Smiling packs such a powerful punch because it expresses on its own, a spectrum of all sort of likeness, a wide smile stretching to both ears means in an instant that I love your dress, shoes, face, demeanour etc., but who goes about listing all these?
Because of the need to express very strong emotions we often use big words, and it seems, the better you get to know a language the better you can, you know, express yourself. The whole thing is about self expression. Its also the reason a single master piece painting on the wall Can tell an entire story words just couldn’t, same with anything related to art
When you watch three boys play, you would surely find them using curse words on each other, and depending on their age and environment, vulgar words may even fill the conversation, but everyone knows it’s a medium of expression, we just do.
And so, I write this article today to remind you.
- If someone said something that hurt you badly, don’t just pick the word and start saying for instance, he called me a fool, or stupid, no… try to find out the emotions behind, surely, behind such words lies a nasty emotional baggage, but that is the trash you should be focusing on, not the word.
- And that leads to the second realization, which is, whose baggage is it?
I remembered when growing up people almost always saw me as a person with a hard heart, like those of the bad guys in the movies, however, what amazed me was my inability to kill a chicken until I was like 20. I guess they misinterpreted my quietness
Sometimes, people see us and say, oh, I know this type, they are the type that try to look good in front of everyone but would strike when nobody is looking and steal all the money or impregnate all the girls, etc… whatever their perception of evil is….but that actually has nothing to do with who we are. Its their own perceptions that they are projecting onto you
- And that leads to the third and most important realization, which is, you must detach yourself from what people say as much as you are trying to see the meaning and emotion behind each of their words, whether laced with honey or poison
When friends talk, they are actively shearing emotions, letting each other know how they feel, empathise and if possible find a solution. The words scarcely matter, it’s the reason Dan Lok can use the word “fuck” when talking about business, and Mark Manson can also use the same word, though much more, when talking about emotional intelligence and living a good life
Although it is advised to avoid vulgar words, the truth is that these words are in existence for a reason, it may be to express a very discomforting situation, create shock or to stress a point. How do you tell your friends that a “sick-twisted-motherfucking-thwart fucked you over” without using vulgar words or at least a curse word and still appear hurt and angry?
Maybe I don’t know enough words in the dictionary, maybe most people don’t as well.
In case you were wondering who the three friends playing were, well they are the first person, the second person and the third person, surely you didn’t skip school. Well if you did I’m sorry you would have to go back to nursery school.
let us play