Getting a girl isn’t supposed to be an earth shattering event
I’m going to tell you from personal experience because I spent at least four years of my life asking myself this very question that also brought you here, I literally asked anybody I knew who appeared to be in love and of course anybody who had a reputation for wooing girls to be in love with them (I’m talking about the playboys)
I was about seventeen years old when puberty completed its work on me, fully driven by desire, my lust for the girls simply grew, however I just couldn’t express it, because of several reasons (which I would talk about) , and when I did , I didn’t get the response I was expecting (for reason which would also talk about) .
THE HUNT FOR GIRLS BEGINS
Plunging into the internet in quest of the solution to my problem I came to see the internet for what it really was ( a library of peoples opinions: and I tell you the truth, most of them are incomplete , misleading and sometimes would leave you in more confusion)… I browsed YouTube, subscribing to as many channels as I could, read several articles online and downloaded as many PDFs as I could, reading with great intensity and hope (hope can bring much pain if it fails at the end: and it does a lot in this subject)
I want to steer you in the right direction, so forgive me if this article gets very long, I want you to get it once and for all. I wandered for four years in limbo, I don’t want you to suffer like me, if you’ve been following this blog you’ll come to realize that I am an advocate for vicarious knowledge. That being said, these are some very bitter truths you’ll have to swallow
THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HAVE A GIRL IN YOUR LIFE[caption id="attachment_media-1319" align="alignnone" width="1880"] Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com[/caption]
- You have been approaching the matter wrongly (there is nothing wrong with you)
- You lack the necessary knowledge and don’t really understand how this works (that’s a good thing because you can learn)
- You have internal resistance to the topic (this is very serious and it is most times overlooked)
This can be said to be limiting beliefs, they are limiting not because they are bad, but because they are holding you back. Some examples of beliefs that can limit you in this aspect of life include
- Self esteem (which can be improved with time)
- Self image (which can be changed with time)
You are not necessarily scared of girls, you might just feel intimidated or unworthy, but ill show you how I overcame mine, you too can do it
You might also have a self image that hinders you from approaching the opposite gender, for instance your Religious belief (this is a tricky topic, but you have to decide what you really want, or you could find someone who belongs to the same religious group as you who knows better and tell them your issues)
THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT LOVE
- Love is an emotion
- Love can be triggered
- Love can be overpowering (no matter who it infects)
- Love can blind
I know the list seems small, but that would do, starting from the top
- LOVE IS AN EMOTION
Have you ever seen a person who consistently pisses you off without even trying, if yes then I reveal to you the power of personality
I call it the Power of Personality because it’s very powerful and you don’t have to do anything to use this power, you just radiate with the power when people set eyes on you
In my quest for girls I failed at this, and spent valuable time, about 2 years before I realized this , I found this truth from one of the YouTube videos I was watching around 2 PM on one of my lonely nights
“why do girls flock around athletes?” and “Why do you have a celebrity crush?”, the answer is emotions(how they make us feel), and this would lead to the next subheading of this article- Personality
I would drop it like its hot: if you want to be loved you must have something lovable
No girl or boy would be drooling over a deadbeat, you’ve got to have something loveable, something that would get people falling in love with you, not just a nice face or body (although they help), but something tangible (and I’m not talking about money, although it helps as well)
Annoying people piss people off simply because they are annoying, the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they act, the way the smell, everything about them is annoying …wait a second , that’s just how we feel about them.
However, some other people are quite the opposite, their voice, steps, attitude and scent all seems to appeal to us, again its our emotion (I hope you can relate this to a crush)
So how do you get to be the one that triggers love in everyone?
HOW TO BUILD AN AMAZING PERSONALITY[caption id="attachment_media-1324" align="alignnone" width="867"] Photo by Eduardo Dutra on Pexels.com[/caption]
Learn a skill, and be passionate about it…Its really that simple, find something like singing, dancing, drawing, running, painting, ANYTHING!!, just make sure its something you would be passionate about, I chose drawing and, today I have girls literally begging me to draw them, plus I also make money from it and I’m happy for my new-found talent, and the girls love it
This is what happens, when you learn or horn a new skill, you place value on yourself, because that skill is valuable, not everyone can do it, its something most people would fantasise about (be their fantasy), plus it boosts your confidence (making you the ideal Alpha Male)
In other words, because of your new-found skill whenever someone sets eyes on you they desire you, ever wondered why men crave women who sing, or do something they normally find only men doing (Place value on yourself) activate their emotions (turn them on) …
You should also read books, books enable you to live multiple lives and thus gain multiple life experiences. Plus, it makes you knowledgeable in a wide variety of fields, thereby making you more exciting to be with, giving you that eccentric personality
And finally, you have to pay attention to your fashion. There are tons of articles and resources on this topic, jump onto google
- LOVE CAN BE TRIGGERED
Love can be triggered, do you know how easy it is to piss off someone who stammers?
Answer; just mimic them
The point is love can be triggered because, just like anger it is an emotional response
Before you trigger love, you must understand that love is simply a heightened feeling of concern for another person. Your parents love you because they care about you, although they may yell at you or probably whack you in the head, yet they would move mountains and kill giants to keep you safe. This is what love is, caring deeply for another, not just what you stand to gain from them
So, back to the matter…How can you trigger love
Have you ever head the word “the friendly thief”, if you haven’t let me explain
A FRIENDLY THIEF
A friendly thief is someone who gives you then take and then take again and keep on taking (until you realize or you don’t)
This is exactly the principle I found all the Playboys I observed during the course of my alchemy (not that Playboys are bad, its just so you can get the picture, I actually value and trust some). However the intention here is different, this is not just about a sex spree, is it?
As I was saying, in order to trigger love, you have to do exactly what the friendly thief does, you have to give love (which is a heightened feeling of concern) then you take, take and keep on taking
What I’m saying if you haven’t still understood is that you should buy her something, but you can start with compliments…WAIT!!!, if you haven’t started talking to her you have to make your move, I know how it feels, your body pulling you the other direction as your heart start beating and you begin to sweat
SOLUTION: starts dishing out random compliments to random girls, you’ll be amazed the amount of positive response you’ll get, you might be the only guy that has complimented her the whole day (she might just fall in love with you , who knows? coughs)
Muscles are built gradually, you must train yourself to talk to girls, don’t rush, start with people who seem friendly and approachable at first and then work yourself up the ladder
Compliment her, ask her how she’s doing, introduce yourself, Ask her of her name and collect her contact (don’t beg. Ask), if she turns you down it’s a good thing, because then you know where you stand
WAIT!!! Don’t go and buy her a sport car, remember this is the friendly thief , what you have to get her would vary , I cant really say, but you have to make sure at first it is something simple, maybe a drink or a snack, Keep it simple
Then start friendly conversations (remember you are valuable , don’t forget that, she should be interested in you) . If you’re having confidence or self esteem issues I suggest you read self help books like you are a badass by Jen Sincero, and also check out Rejection proof by for confidence , I did read those two books and found them extremely helpful
THE PERSONALITY DILEMA[caption id="attachment_media-1329" align="alignnone" width="1300"] Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com[/caption]
The aim of the just concluded section is not to make you pretend to be who you’re not, if you noticed I insisted that you take things gradually, it could take weeks or months to build that confidence to talk to girls, but once you get it its yours, you become a confident person.
You must understand that both male and female are still humans, we all breath air and all crave love, you shouldn’t let how the other person take you determine your self-worth. You are valuable, if they don’t see it then that’s their problem. Your only job is to work on improving yourself (that’s why you learnt a skill in the first place)
- LOVE CAN BE OVERPOWERING
This is probably a warning to you, if you fall in love with her before she does or before she even starts noticing your interest, you are doomed (she would hand you her friendzone form, and you would fill it with tears)
Have you seen somebody who is angry or excited and tried denying it (yeah, its just pathetic)
It’s the reason I encouraged you to make your move early
This is where most people get it wrong, I spent a whole year trapped in this stage, and spent ample time getting out of it
After showing your intent and you see her showing you positive responses, its time to make your move
It’s the time you press for what you want out of the relationship
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT
Defining what you want is the most important thing. It doesn’t really matter if it is just sex you want, if you are honest about your feelings and communicate them effectively and efficiently without resulting to manipulations and lies then you are cool.
What you consider success might be having to have a lot of cool girls to chat with, or sex or even marriage. it all boils down to what you really want.
It is always wise to find out the “why” before any course of action, and then questioning it. But that’s a topic for another day
IS IT SEX?
if you want Sex you should press for it at the early stage, let her know you’re sexually attracted to her, get her alone, don’t be her clown, your not there to entertain her, let all you do trigger sexual arousal, the tone of your voice, the movie you watch together, you don’t want to be friend zoned (it is better for her to say she can’t continue being friends with you than friend zoning you, you don’t want to be in that friend zone, you’ll shed tears down there).
Wasting time shows you want something long term, she would start seeing you as a boyfriend material , if she just wants sex she would run away from you and even if she wanted a boyfriend she would not want you to perceive her as being loose or cheap and as a result you don’t get to have sex anytime soon (both ways you loose, the patient dog here wont even see the bone to lick, all you get is an introduction to her new boyfriend or a wedding invitation card)
IS IT MARRIAGE?
If you wish to marry her, then you can take it as slow as possible , if she likes you enough she would go with the flow (hopefully she wont get horney and cheat on you with someone else, hopefully)[caption id="attachment_media-1334" align="alignnone" width="1880"] Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com[/caption]
BONUS TIP: if you take the first option and push for sex early, you might just get her to fall in love with you and then from there you both move to being partners, remember love is overpowering (it is simply safer to push for sex early, it’s the reason the “Playboys” always have a “girlfriend(s)” they cheat on).
- LOVE CAN BLIND
One more thing I discovered in my quest of getting girls is that emotions can bling you…
By the time you finally get your head out of the clouds you’ll discover how nasty the attitude of the person you’ve been worshiping truly is, they might be ugly or smelly or dumb(like stupid-stupid), and you would not be able to see this , even if your friends and entire family(extended family included) gathered and told you so
This works both ways, she could be the one blinded to your flaws, or you, or both of you (which end up creating a toxic relationship, where you both feed your insecurities and flaws)
THIS IS IMPORTANT
You must realize that it is wise to go in search of a person with desirable attributes (like intelligence, great social skills, and financial acumen to mention a few), if you are smart enough you would learn a thing or two and would end up being a better person…
However if you go in search of the “body”, make sure you don’t end up in any serious relationship because that would drain you(but the choice is always up to you)
You should also be aware that love makes you prone to manipulations, and you can also manipulate, or both of you can be manipulating each other (don’t ask me how, love is crazy)
I don’t know much about toxic relationships, but I know it has something to do with not improving – not improving on yourself or the other person
There you have it, My entire four years of experience in love and relationships in less than three thousand words
I must confess I don’t know everything but these tips work like magic, because it is (magic involves knowing what others don’t, and I do)
If you still find this difficult to grasp, I suggest you read the book, Models , by Mark Manson
During my alchemy, I met many girls, I got many numbers, I experienced lots of failures and did stupid things, but during the end of my alchemy, when the panacea was ready, the success rate went off the chart (Remember we all have our definitions of success)
At first I thought I wanted girls, but at the end I discovered I wanted something more, it was about relationships, someone or people I could build my life/future with, and that is the alchemy I am pursuing now, it’s the reason this Weblog is all about Gangs (you should check that out)