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What’s the point of killing yourself when death is already coming?

Those were the words that knocked off suicidal thoughts from my life, but it also compelled me to kill myself

Suicide is a topic that is being pushed to the corner of society, people don’t talk about it much, I guess its because most of the times it is just the sufferer that bears the pain. I have suffered from suicidal thoughts and I would gladly shear with you how I let go of these thoughts for good


Most times when suicide is being talked about on TV stations, it is talked about in terms of terrorism, hardly would you find any News of someone committing suicide out of the frustrations that they are experiencing

Suicide is a very real thing, and it is something most folks would laugh about, thinking the suicidal people are stupid or crazy, but that’s not true

You see, people can commit suicide for things you thought where good for the society

For example, you’ll all think that a religion like Christianity wouldn’t have people going suicidal, but the painful truth is that many people right now actually feel suicidal because of it.

Suicidal thoughts flood a person’s mind for several reasons, most times things get critical when the person experiencing the thoughts starts feeling less attached to the world and starts having a feeling of meaninglessness

A man loses his wife, children, possessions, dignity, and hope of ever recovering any of these, he sinks down into a pit, a pit that would only get darker each passing day, soon food begins to lose taste to him and all he can think of is how meaningless his life has become; he goes suicidal

A girl is constantly being abused because, she has no parents, she has no home, she isn’t with her own people, she starves, so she decides to work in a brothel, where she is used as a tool of sexual gratification, soon men start spitting on her, slapping her, forcing her to do things she doesn’t want to do, her madam treats her like garbage and would never give her enough money to leave her current state. People outside abhor and detest her calling her a whore so that she can’t even get a job or assistance, soon she discovers that she isn’t going to ever come out of that pit, she ceases to find meaning in life, she sees herself as worthless; she goes suicidal

selective photo of teal cross decor Photo by Pixabay on

A boy brought up in a religious home, so that he is thought the way of the heavenliest , and lives a sacred life, so that, he considers himself holy, but soon he discovers that he cant keep up with the demands placed upon him as he constantly breaks the laws and commits sins , pilling sins upon sins, soon he considers himself a sinner , soon he considers himself unworthy, he tries to ask for forgiveness but finds himself doing those sins again, soon he discovers that he would never make it out of the circle or make it to heaven either, he looses the meaning for life; he goes suicidal

A teenager is constantly bullied in class, he is avoided, performs poorly in class so that his teachers and even his own parents appear to hate him, he doesn’t speak much because his self esteem is dead, all together he feels there is something wrong with him, that he isn’t worthy, that his life is meaningless, all hell gets lose when he is betrayed/abandoned by his only friend; he goes suicidal


The point is, suicide can be triggered by a lot of things, but the base is usually a sense of meaninglessness, sometimes people go suicidal when they are told that a better life awaits them making the current one feel less meaningful, no , its not only the jihadist you see on TV ,at Jonestown, Guyana 910 people drank poison  and died, it was a shocking example of how people could lose meaning for life because someone of great influence told them that life wasn’t that meaningful

high angle view of cityscape against cloudy sky Photo by Quintin Gellar on

FLIPING THE SWITCH- helping yourself overcome suicidal thoughts

What’s the point of killing yourself when death is already coming

Maybe no one else understands us, they don’t even know the demons we are dealing with, how we can’t sleep at night, how our thoughts torture us during the day until we are driven mad with self-hate, tiredness and frustration; only another bottle of whisky can help

I was drowning in my usual thought of suicide when someone started laughing by myside, he had just seen a meme on social media, it read something like, “don’t bother about killing yourself, you would soon die”, it was dark, it was witty, it was an uplifting Sinicism.

I had spent countless hours thinking of how worthless I was, how stupid and how meaningless life was, but here was this guy, laughing; laughing about the decision I have considered very important, laughing about the decision of taking my own life.

Why is he laughing, is this all a joke to him?

What was the point, how is this even a joke?

It dawned on me, I figured it out; life was like a marathon, a very exhausting race, we start up energetic and all buffed up, then with time we get tired and irritable , pushing harder and harder we begin to feel the urge to vomit , we feel like our legs can’t take it anymore and our lungs are about to collapse , then we feel we can’t continue anymore.

But this is where the secret lies – giving up

photography of a persons hand with stop signage Photo by Joël Super on

We have been running with the wrong crowd. Everything we experience is usually compared to something, it is how we know this is hot and this is cooled, while in reality they simply possess different levels of entropy. We can only feel bad when we compare our state with that of another and conclude that ours is very poor/bad/shameful/demeaning/embarrassing

The truth is the more you feel suicidal, the more you crave to live a life different from the one you are currently experiencing. Maybe your life doesn’t suck as much as you thought

The answer to the problem is not finding a way to stop thinking about killing yourself or hating yourself, the answer is finding a way to live a NEW LIFE, a DIFFERENT LIFE, but first you must die to the life you are currently living by letting go and reconciling where necessary

Sometimes we have to accept our losses, sometimes we have to sacrifice. Maybe the crowd you are following is not just right for you, maybe they are demanding something you can’t offer. Maybe you should just let all that relationship DIE

If it is on a personal level, a very crucial thing to do is to anchor your “meaning of life” on something bigger/higher/greater  than yourself like helping the less privileged or educating people, you would find much pleasure doing this, thereby finding Relish and meaning in life

One thing I always tell myself is that “there is nothing more important than me”, it is quite reasonable for someone to die for something, or to sacrifice for someone else, but you have to do it because you want to, not because someone or something forced you to

The world is yours, its like an open world game, like grand theft auto, many things are going on simultaneously but the only thing that matters is how you take them

Living your life as the main character, as the Player-1 is key is crucial.  Maybe you really are all that matters in the world

It is your duty to contribute to humanity, i.t-i.s-y.o.u.r-d.u.t.y

The least you can do is play the game to the end, till death comes and declares Game over

  • the major thing is to revaluate your relationships and environment, these are the things that are causing you to feel horrible about yourself
  • you have to build a new life, you have to find a new meaning
  • Give yourself time to recover, it always takes time for injuries to heal and plants to grow
  • you have to wait for the game to end on its own
  • you have to contribute to humanity in your own little way while life lingers because this is the reason, we are all here
  • Remember we are all in this together, you aren’t going anywhere!

P.S: the world is like a mirror, if you smile to it, it would surely smile back, you just have to try


TURNING OFF THE SUCIDE SWITCH-helping a someone recover

Suicide; like a bullet wound is something that needs immediate and massive attention coupled with patience in order for recovery to transpire

Basically, everything we experience, we experience from our point of view, from how we saw or see things

What might hurt another may not even draw the attention of another

Suicide like any other painful emotion is a drive that is triggered by an idea (a thought).

The only way to stop a person from feeling suicidal is to remove the thought from the persons mind.

The solution is not straight forward, it would require different measures for different people and would be dependent on the how intense those feelings are

The solution can be as simple as telling the person and making he or she see how much you care for them and value them, or letting them know that you guys are in it together and that you would never leave them

However, if things seem to get out of control it is wise to call the professionals (dial the suicide number)


Enyadike Christian · May 18, 2019 at 23:49

Nice piece Mr pawns

    Dick David · May 19, 2019 at 01:07

    Thanks, I’m glad you found it helpful

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